According to recent reports, graduates of Eddie’s Plumbing and Waste Management Vocational School in Newark, New Jersey have far outpaced NYU grads in employment for the last ten years.
Those who went to plumbing school had a whopping 90% greater chance of acquiring stable employment and earning a comfortable wage with health-care benefits. Additionally, they were more easily able to pay off their student debt, which rounds out to about $50 after three years of training at Eddie’s.
NYU graduates, on the other hand, are for the most part “self-employed”, a term virtually synonymous with “unemployed.” When surveyed, most wrote down, “wherever the wind takes me,” under Place of Residence, a term also virtually synonymous with “my cousin’s couch.”
“Sure, I have very few practical skills that are fundamentally useful to society,” said MCC major Jake Biggins, class of ‘08. “But the world needed my forty-page senior thesis on the gender politics of Sesame Street. Also, I had an idea for a TV show recently. It’s sort of like Cheers. It’s actually just Cheers. I’m workshopping it.”