BREAKING: Short List of Potential Names For Stern’s New Wing

Suggestions and bribes pummeled NYU’s Stern School of Business yesterday after the school announced they were taking suggestions for naming their latest addition. The currently unnamed wing will include such amenities as a bum-fight arena, a roofie apothecary, and a men’s warehouse outlet. Stern officials have opened the poll to the entire NYU student body and has hope that this process will have a better result than the “ur mom’s tit milk” Dining Hall, which finished construction early last Spring. After little debate, the top five names have been announced:

  1. The Jeb Bush Memorial Wing

  1. Children of Divorce Hall

  1. Birdman: OR the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance

  1. The Dan Bilzerian Casino

  1. My Father’s (do you even know who he is?) Center for Management