At around 11am this morning, Wikileaks released close to 2,000 of President Andrew Hamilton’s emails to NYU’s Board of Directors. While many of them were run-of-the-mill, bureaucratic, corruption-revealing emails, others gave readers a candid look at the President’s top-secret Halloween Planning Committee. Read a particularly damning excerpt below:
ITS OCTOBER ♎ AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: HALLOWEEN 🌑🌕👻 !! ARE U READY 2 GET SPOOoOOOooOKY 💀 ?!
Back home in Surrey we don’t celebrate 👻 Halloween 👻 like you do so I want to have the full A M E R I C A N experience! Can we go to the parade?? I hear it’s super spooky and glittery and I can dress up so none of the students know who I am! What should I dress as? I have a few choices so TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE– 1. Lady Gaga 2. Sexy Chemist 3. Marina Abramovic 4. Lin Manuel-Miranda 5. Bone Broth?!????????
AAAAH! I’m so E X C I T E D! You HAVE to tell me if you hear about any parties too, okay? OKAY?! I hear Bushwick and Bed-Stuy are cool now so if anything is there TELL ME ASAP WE CAN UBER THERE TOGERHER. THIS IS IMPORTANT AND I WONT BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE IF YOU DON’T TELL ME ABOUT THE COOL NEW YORK STUFF.
Anyone know which neighborhood gives the best candy? Lemme know…
At press time, Hamilton had no comment, but inside sources at the President’s office reveal the university is all but certain the leaks came from a cyber attack carried out by hackers at Columbia.