2017-2018 WSL Writers’ Application
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Articles
NYU To Open New Residence Hall On Rikers Island
NYU’s Residential Life & Housing Services made an astonishing announcement today by unveiling plans for a new Freshman dormitory, conveniently located
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Professor Automatically Gives ‘A’ To Kid Wearing Apple Logo Hoodie
A professor in CAS announced this week that he will be giving an A to the kid who wears an
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College Improv Troupe Invites Students To Take A Study Break, Watch Some Bad Comedy
Local NYU Improv troupe “Improvulation” has invited all of NYU to attend their final show of the semester. According to the
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NYU A Cappella Group’s Self Awareness Hits Record Low
NYU’s numerous a cappella groups reached an historic point this weekend at their joint “Spring Jamz” concert in which not
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NYU To Test Self-Driving Buses By Firing All Drivers, Hoping For Best
NYU will be firing all of its bus drivers this week. As such, when next semester begins, the university will
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Sophomore’s Summer Job Actually Just Cult
After a thorough Washington Square Local investigation, sophomore Sarah Bartshort’s internship was confirmed to actually be just a cult. Bartshort,
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CAS Sophomore Declares Thumb War
After 2 years of drifting from one interest to another, sophomore Harold Pinkerton finally filed paperwork with the College of Arts
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Senior With Straight C’s Really Gonna Have To Pull Some Strings To Not Ruin Everything He’s Worked For
After not putting in even a spec of effort this semester, graduating CAS senior Tosh Evans is really gonna have
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Tisch Junior With Summer Internship Excited To Be Exploited By Cool Production Company
Having finally snagged a much sought-after internship, Tisch junior Shailene Walls has set the date for when she’ll start being
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Enormous Rat Asks What Your Housing Plans Are For Next Year
According to insider sources, an enormous rat is wondering what you were thinking of doing for housing next year. This
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STUDENT VOICES: “I Love College And Do Not Regret Anything Wait What Are You Doi–”
Feeling satisfied and proud about her college career, CAS senior Paula Schettler looks forward to answering questions about her NYU
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OPINION: CAS Senior Running For City Council Might Be Severely Unqualified, Potentially Fucking Over Thousands of New Yorkers, But At Least He’s Putting Himself Out There, Y’Know?
Campus has been abuzz this week with the news that Chetan Hebbur (it’s pronounced Nit with a “wit”), a senior in
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Led Zeppelin Fan Definitely Misunderstood “Classics” Course Material
As the semester winds to a close, sophomore and Classic Rock superfan Danny “Baby Clapton” Carter admits he was dissatisfied
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Debate Team Unable To Decide What To Get For Lunch
Despite hours of intense deliberation, NYU’s debate team has been unable to reach a decision over what to get for
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Gallatin Senior’s Concentration In “Extraterrestrial Studies & Origins” Looking Grim For Job Prospects
With her 4-year study on Extraterrestrial Studies & Origins coming to an end, Gallatin senior Maicy Williams is losing hope
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Archivists Find Evidence Stern Once Held “Morse Code Is All About Confidence” Seminar
A group of senior History majors unearthed evidence this week of a century-old Stern seminar entitled “Morse Code Is All
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Film Student Carries Around Little Notebook In Case He Ever Gets Terrible Film Idea
According to sources from within Tisch, Film & Television sophomore Kenny Sorington reportedly carries around a pocket-sized moleskine notebook just
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Freshman’s Article On Medium Shockingly Well Written
In a shocking turn of events, the NYU community was rocked by revelations that freshman Rodrick Simpleton’s Medium article was
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You’ll Never Guess What These Silver Bathrooms Look Like Today!
The same. They look the fucking same. I don’t know what to tell you. They haven’t renovated those bathrooms in,
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Tisch Senior’s Thesis Film Metaphor For Living At Home Rest Of Life
Needing to let everyone know that he’s giving up in 7 weeks, Film & TV senior John Starks’ thesis film
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NYU Law Grad Makes Judgement On Landmark ‘Man v. Food’ Case
Alex Havermeyer, NYU Law Class of ’12, is making headlines this morning after the culmination of a nearly year-long investigation
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We’re All Interested In The Cherry Blossom Festival. All of Us.
Fallen velvet petals beckon our aching heels Rustling in mother nature’s breath between blade of grass and strong red root
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Friend Who “Found Herself” Over Spring Break Went To Baltimore
Samantha Meyer, a Drama junior at Tisch, reportedly claims to have “found herself” while on a spring break vacation. According
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Study Confirms Overall Satisfaction With Usual Hometown Hookup Decreasing Exponentially
A new study conducted by the NYU Psychology Department confirmed CAS junior Cassie Blankhardt’s suspicion that her usual hometown hookup, Chad
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Even Professor Didn’t Do The Reading
Even though he always asks the question at the beginning of each class, Nature of Success Professor Chris Stenton admits
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Peace Corps To Begin Placing New Recruits in Weinstein
Beginning this fall, the Peace Corps will begin placing new recruits in Weinstein. The placement is part of a larger
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STUDENT VOICES: “Some Say They’re Giving Up College For Lent, But I’m Just Giving Up All My Dreams”
Tisch senior Sarah Carroll is one-upping everyone for Lent this year by, rather than jokingly giving up college, giving up
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How To Break It To Your Parents You Have To Do A Fifth Year
Use a fun icebreaker. Everyone tell a fun fact about themselves! My fun fact is I failed organic chemistry. Sing
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School Pride: A Poem
I love my school I love our colors purple and white I love my school Yesterday me and a squirrel
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John Sexton Forms 1860s Irish Immigrant Gang Out Of Boredom
In an apparent nod to Martin Scorsese’s 2002 film Gangs of New York, President Emeritus John Sexton formed an 1860s-style
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BREAKING: Jay’s Mom Staying On The Couch For Awhile, Apparently
Jay’s Mom (Tufts ’88), mom of Jay (Gallatin ’19), has reportedly been bunking in her son’s UHall room for about three
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FUN FACT: Andrew Hamilton’s Chief Of Staff Is Also Andrew Hamilton
Although nobody ever talks about it, Andrew Hamilton is more than just President of NYU. Yes, in addition to his
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Woefully Misguided Pike Junior Really Excited To Study A Broad
Pike junior Bradley Bradford, a Stern finance major, was in for a rude awakening this week after misreading multiple NYU
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Cool Professor Who Cooly Wants You To Call Him By His Cool First Name Is Cool
“Just call me Terry!” chuckles art history professor Terry Bull, sitting down with Washington Square Local at a pretty neat
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STUDENT VOICES: Should I Stay In New York After Graduation Or Live A Life Of Happiness?
Weighing out her options before graduation in May, Tisch senior May Weathers can’t decide if she should stay in New
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Campus Mugger Revealed To Be Two Tisch Kids Doing “Helping Hands” Drama Exercise
After a rash of muggings on campus this past month, students are concerned about safety when walking through key areas,
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Senile Professor Sets Aside 45 Minutes In Lecture Plan For Meandering Anecdote
According to inside sources, 70-year-old Film Studies professor Rick Warren has set aside a 45 minute block of time in
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Confident Intern Lists Company Without Job Title On Facebook
Certain she’ll be given a full-time position following her 4-month internship, Tisch senior Sharon Stalls went ahead and listed the
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NYU Republicans Call For Transfer Student Ban
The scene outside of President Andy Hamilton’s office late Tuesday evening was not a pretty one, as NYU College Republicans
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Acquaintance Noticeably Absent From Sophomore Year Rooming Plans
Early roommate negotiations are currently underway for the 2016-2017 academic year, and acquaintance Bobby Franklin is noticeably absent from his
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Are My Pants Too Baggy To Land A Fuckboy?
Hey folks! Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and if you’re anything like me you’re desperately looking for someone
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Student Who Brings Candy To Class Desperate For Any Approval
A few weeks into the semester and still unable to make a solid impression on her Creative Writing Workshop, sophomore
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Roommate Op-Ed: “Hey Is It Alright If My Girlfriend Comes Over For Sex?”
Hey man. Sorry to bother you. What are you watching? Parks and Rec? Cool. I’ve seen a couple episodes here
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NYU Institutes Policy Of “Extreme Vetting” After Dangerous Extremist Incites Violence On Campus
With the dust beginning to settle after the speaking engagement of far right extremist Gavin McInnes, attention has turned to how
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CAMPUS PROFILES: Meet The Graphic Designer Who Photoshops Medical Degrees For The Health Center
Among the dozens of amazing people that work at NYU, few are as important as Kelly Wyatt, a graphic designer
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Gallatin Sophomore Moved To Share Life Story After Professor Calls Her Name During Roll
A Gallatin sophomore was moved to share her life story this week after her professor called her name while taking
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Anthropology Department Discovers New Hominid Species At NYU Republicans Meeting
NYU’s own Anthropology department is making international headlines this morning after publishing a groundbreaking paper detailing the discovery of a
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Edward Snowden Found Hiding In South Elevator Of Barney Building
The custodial staff at NYU’s Barney Building made a shocking discovery last Friday when they found former CIA employee and
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“Two Truths And A Lie” Icebreaker Solves Cold Case Of Professor’s Dead Wife
On the first day of “Introduction To Introductions,” Professor Stephen Gilroy was shocked when a simple icebreaking game of Two
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OPINION: If You Love Berlin So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?
It’s only the first day back to school and friends of Anna Littman have already had enough of her
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Freshman Well Aware Of How Wildly Unrealistic Her Weekend Plans Are
According to sources, Tisch freshman Janet Johnson knows deep down how wildly unrealistic her weekend plans actually are. Although perhaps
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Faculty & Students Agree: New Mercer St. Building’s Beautiful Roof Garden Makes Us Forget About Slavery In NYU-Abu Dhabi
After NYU released the plans for 181 Mercer St., the all-purpose building that is replacing Coles on Mercer and Bleecker,
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STUDENT VOICES: Why I’m “So Done” With Finals But I Still Have Three Finals Left But My Attitude Is Like So Over Finals But Not Actually Because There’s So Much Left
I am giving up. I am packing my things. I am flying home. But not actually, because I still have
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Double Monday Schedule Sends Fragile Sophomore Over Edge Of Reality
In order to make up for a previous long weekend, NYU has decided this finals week to have two Monday
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Impressive! With A Convenient Gym Downstairs, Palladium Resident Still Manages To Avoid Working Out
Palladium resident and NYU sophomore Sasha Horrowitz has managed to avoid working out despite the convenient state-of-the-art gym just an
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Father Returning For MBA Attempts To Have Cookout During Lecture
An economics lecture in Stern was disrupted early Thursday morning by a student who began hosting a patio cookout. Peter
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BRAVE: Senior Forwards Tuition Statement To Parents Before Reading It
‘Tis the season to pay your spring semester tuition! On Monday, senior Samantha Silverspün received an email from the Bursar’s
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WSL Editorial Board: NYU Should Be More Transparent So We Have More Things To Make Fun Of
After heavy deliberation, the Editorial Board of Washington Square Local has agreed that NYU needs to be more transparent about
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Genius Freshman Changes Essay Layout To Be 90% Margins, 10% Actual Words
With finals approaching and assignments stacking up, sly CAS freshman Joey Slurp has discovered the perfect strategy for meeting his
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Usually Silent Student Just Now Remembering Participation Grade
After not speaking at all this semester in her Children’s Literature class, Katie Schirman (‘18) clearly only just remembered the
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