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Articles

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About Articles 

2017-2018 WSL Writers’ Application

September 7, 2017 Britney Shakespears application, apply, writer, writers

Do you know how to read and write? Do you have some ideas of ways to make fun of the

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU To Open New Residence Hall On Rikers Island

May 8, 2017May 8, 2017 Dan Quayle

NYU’s Residential Life & Housing Services made an astonishing announcement today by unveiling plans for a new Freshman dormitory, conveniently located

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Academics Articles CAS 

Professor Automatically Gives ‘A’ To Kid Wearing Apple Logo Hoodie

May 1, 2017 Murray Samsonite

A professor in CAS announced this week that he will be giving an A to the kid who wears an

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Academics Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

College Improv Troupe Invites Students To Take A Study Break, Watch Some Bad Comedy

April 27, 2017 John Frey

Local NYU Improv troupe “Improvulation” has invited all of NYU to attend their final show of the semester. According to the

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU A Cappella Group’s Self Awareness Hits Record Low

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017 Harriet Chubman

NYU’s numerous a cappella groups reached an historic point this weekend at their joint “Spring Jamz” concert in which not

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU To Test Self-Driving Buses By Firing All Drivers, Hoping For Best

April 19, 2017 Murray Samsonite

NYU will be firing all of its bus drivers this week. As such, when next semester begins, the university will

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Academics Articles Lifestyle 

Sophomore’s Summer Job Actually Just Cult

April 18, 2017April 18, 2017 Murray Samsonite

After a thorough Washington Square Local investigation, sophomore Sarah Bartshort’s internship was confirmed to actually be just a cult. Bartshort,

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Academics Articles CAS 

CAS Sophomore Declares Thumb War

April 17, 2017 Dan Quayle

After 2 years of drifting from one interest to another, sophomore Harold Pinkerton finally filed paperwork with the College of Arts

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Academics Articles Lifestyle 

Senior With Straight C’s Really Gonna Have To Pull Some Strings To Not Ruin Everything He’s Worked For

April 14, 2017 Air Bud

After not putting in even a spec of effort this semester, graduating CAS senior Tosh Evans is really gonna have

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Academics Articles Tisch 

Tisch Junior With Summer Internship Excited To Be Exploited By Cool Production Company

April 13, 2017 Air Bud

Having finally snagged a much sought-after internship, Tisch junior Shailene Walls has set the date for when she’ll start being

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Articles On Campus 

Enormous Rat Asks What Your Housing Plans Are For Next Year

April 12, 2017 John Frey

According to insider sources, an enormous rat is wondering what you were thinking of doing for housing next year. This

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Articles On Campus 

STUDENT VOICES: “I Love College And Do Not Regret Anything Wait What Are You Doi–”

April 11, 2017 Air Bud

Feeling satisfied and proud about her college career, CAS senior Paula Schettler looks forward to answering questions about her NYU

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Articles On Campus Opinion 

OPINION: CAS Senior Running For City Council Might Be Severely Unqualified, Potentially Fucking Over Thousands of New Yorkers, But At Least He’s Putting Himself Out There, Y’Know?

April 10, 2017April 10, 2017 Murray Samsonite

Campus has been abuzz this week with the news that Chetan Hebbur (it’s pronounced Nit with a “wit”), a senior in

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Academics Articles 

Led Zeppelin Fan Definitely Misunderstood “Classics” Course Material

April 7, 2017 Dick Tarpis

As the semester winds to a close, sophomore and Classic Rock superfan Danny “Baby Clapton” Carter admits he was dissatisfied

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Articles On Campus Opinion 

Debate Team Unable To Decide What To Get For Lunch

April 6, 2017 Julius Sneezer

Despite hours of intense deliberation, NYU’s debate team has been unable to reach a decision over what to get for

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Academics Articles Gallatin 

Gallatin Senior’s Concentration In “Extraterrestrial Studies & Origins” Looking Grim For Job Prospects

April 5, 2017April 5, 2017 Air Bud

With her 4-year study on Extraterrestrial Studies & Origins coming to an end, Gallatin senior Maicy Williams is losing hope

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Academics Articles Stern 

Archivists Find Evidence Stern Once Held “Morse Code Is All About Confidence” Seminar

April 4, 2017 Murray Samsonite

A group of senior History majors unearthed evidence this week of a century-old Stern seminar entitled “Morse Code Is All

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Academics Articles Tisch 

Film Student Carries Around Little Notebook In Case He Ever Gets Terrible Film Idea

April 3, 2017 John Frey

According to sources from within Tisch, Film & Television sophomore Kenny Sorington reportedly carries around a pocket-sized moleskine notebook just

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

Freshman’s Article On Medium Shockingly Well Written

March 29, 2017March 29, 2017 Murray Samsonite

In a shocking turn of events, the NYU community was rocked by revelations that freshman Rodrick Simpleton’s Medium article was

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Articles CAS On Campus 

You’ll Never Guess What These Silver Bathrooms Look Like Today!

March 28, 2017March 28, 2017 Frederick Krueger

The same. They look the fucking same. I don’t know what to tell you. They haven’t renovated those bathrooms in,

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Articles Lifestyle Tisch 

Tisch Senior’s Thesis Film Metaphor For Living At Home Rest Of Life

March 27, 2017 Air Bud

Needing to let everyone know that he’s giving up in 7 weeks, Film & TV senior John Starks’ thesis film

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Academics Articles Law 

NYU Law Grad Makes Judgement On Landmark ‘Man v. Food’ Case

March 24, 2017 Dan Quayle

Alex Havermeyer, NYU Law Class of ’12, is making headlines this morning after the culmination of a nearly year-long investigation

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

We’re All Interested In The Cherry Blossom Festival. All of Us.

March 23, 2017March 23, 2017 Margaret Twatwood

Fallen velvet petals beckon our aching heels Rustling in mother nature’s breath between blade of grass and strong red root

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Articles Lifestyle 

Friend Who “Found Herself” Over Spring Break Went To Baltimore

March 21, 2017March 21, 2017 John Frey

Samantha Meyer, a Drama junior at Tisch, reportedly claims to have “found herself” while on a spring break vacation. According

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Articles Lifestyle 

Study Confirms Overall Satisfaction With Usual Hometown Hookup Decreasing Exponentially

March 20, 2017March 20, 2017 Dan Quayle

A new study conducted by the NYU Psychology Department confirmed CAS junior Cassie Blankhardt’s suspicion that her usual hometown hookup, Chad

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Academics Articles 

Even Professor Didn’t Do The Reading

March 9, 2017March 9, 2017 Air Bud

Even though he always asks the question at the beginning of each class, Nature of Success Professor Chris Stenton admits

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Articles On Campus 

Peace Corps To Begin Placing New Recruits in Weinstein

March 8, 2017March 8, 2017 Murray Samsonite

Beginning this fall, the Peace Corps will begin placing new recruits in Weinstein. The placement is part of a larger

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Articles Lifestyle 

STUDENT VOICES: “Some Say They’re Giving Up College For Lent, But I’m Just Giving Up All My Dreams”

March 7, 2017March 7, 2017 Air Bud

Tisch senior Sarah Carroll is one-upping everyone for Lent this year by, rather than jokingly giving up college, giving up

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Academics Articles 

How To Break It To Your Parents You Have To Do A Fifth Year

March 6, 2017 Michael Sarah

Use a fun icebreaker. Everyone tell a fun fact about themselves! My fun fact is I failed organic chemistry. Sing

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

School Pride: A Poem

March 5, 2017March 5, 2017 Michael Sarah

I love my school I love our colors purple and white I love my school Yesterday me and a squirrel

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Administration Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

John Sexton Forms 1860s Irish Immigrant Gang Out Of Boredom

March 4, 2017March 4, 2017 Murray Samsonite

In an apparent nod to Martin Scorsese’s 2002 film Gangs of New York, President Emeritus John Sexton formed an 1860s-style

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

BREAKING: Jay’s Mom Staying On The Couch For Awhile, Apparently

March 3, 2017March 3, 2017 Margaret Twatwood

Jay’s Mom (Tufts ’88), mom of Jay (Gallatin ’19), has reportedly been bunking in her son’s UHall room for about three

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Administration Articles 

FUN FACT: Andrew Hamilton’s Chief Of Staff Is Also Andrew Hamilton

March 2, 2017March 2, 2017 Murray Samsonite

Although nobody ever talks about it, Andrew Hamilton is more than just President of NYU. Yes, in addition to his

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

Woefully Misguided Pike Junior Really Excited To Study A Broad

March 1, 2017 Paul Schart

Pike junior Bradley Bradford, a Stern finance major, was in for a rude awakening this week after misreading multiple NYU

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Academics Articles 

Cool Professor Who Cooly Wants You To Call Him By His Cool First Name Is Cool

February 28, 2017February 28, 2017 Jack Sass

“Just call me Terry!” chuckles art history professor Terry Bull, sitting down with Washington Square Local at a pretty neat

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Articles On Campus Opinion 

STUDENT VOICES: Should I Stay In New York After Graduation Or Live A Life Of Happiness?

February 23, 2017February 22, 2017 Air Bud

Weighing out her options before graduation in May, Tisch senior May Weathers can’t decide if she should stay in New

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Articles On Campus Uncategorized 

Campus Mugger Revealed To Be Two Tisch Kids Doing “Helping Hands” Drama Exercise

February 22, 2017February 22, 2017 Murray Samsonite

After a rash of muggings on campus this past month, students are concerned about safety when walking through key areas,

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Academics Articles On Campus 

Senile Professor Sets Aside 45 Minutes In Lecture Plan For Meandering Anecdote

February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 John Frey

According to inside sources, 70-year-old Film Studies professor Rick Warren has set aside a 45 minute block of time in

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Articles Lifestyle 

Confident Intern Lists Company Without Job Title On Facebook

February 16, 2017February 16, 2017 Air Bud

Certain she’ll be given a full-time position following her 4-month internship, Tisch senior Sharon Stalls went ahead and listed the

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Articles On Campus 

NYU Republicans Call For Transfer Student Ban

February 15, 2017February 15, 2017 Dan Quayle

The scene outside of President Andy Hamilton’s office late Tuesday evening was not a pretty one, as NYU College Republicans

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Articles On Campus 

Acquaintance Noticeably Absent From Sophomore Year Rooming Plans

February 13, 2017February 13, 2017 Paul Schart

Early roommate negotiations are currently underway for the 2016-2017 academic year, and acquaintance Bobby Franklin is noticeably absent from his

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Articles Lifestyle Opinion 

Are My Pants Too Baggy To Land A Fuckboy?

February 7, 2017February 7, 2017 Frederick Krueger

Hey folks! Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and if you’re anything like me you’re desperately looking for someone

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Academics Articles CAS 

Student Who Brings Candy To Class Desperate For Any Approval

February 6, 2017February 6, 2017 Maya Wife

A few weeks into the semester and still unable to make a solid impression on her Creative Writing Workshop, sophomore

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Articles Lifestyle 

Roommate Op-Ed: “Hey Is It Alright If My Girlfriend Comes Over For Sex?”

February 4, 2017 John Frey

Hey man. Sorry to bother you. What are you watching? Parks and Rec? Cool. I’ve seen a couple episodes here

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Administration Articles On Campus 

NYU Institutes Policy Of “Extreme Vetting” After Dangerous Extremist Incites Violence On Campus

February 3, 2017February 3, 2017 Julius Sneezer

With the dust beginning to settle after the speaking engagement of far right extremist Gavin McInnes, attention has turned to how

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Administration Articles On Campus 

CAMPUS PROFILES: Meet The Graphic Designer Who Photoshops Medical Degrees For The Health Center

February 1, 2017 Dan Quayle

Among the dozens of amazing people that work at NYU, few are as important as Kelly Wyatt, a graphic designer

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Academics Articles 

Gallatin Sophomore Moved To Share Life Story After Professor Calls Her Name During Roll

January 31, 2017January 31, 2017 Murray Samsonite

A Gallatin sophomore was moved to share her life story this week after her professor called her name while taking

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Academics Articles CAS Lifestyle 

Anthropology Department Discovers New Hominid Species At NYU Republicans Meeting

January 30, 2017January 30, 2017 Dan Quayle

NYU’s own Anthropology department is making international headlines this morning after publishing a groundbreaking paper detailing the discovery of a

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Articles On Campus Steinhardt 

Edward Snowden Found Hiding In South Elevator Of Barney Building

January 26, 2017January 26, 2017 Dan Quayle

The custodial staff at NYU’s Barney Building made a shocking discovery last Friday when they found former CIA employee and

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Academics Articles On Campus 

“Two Truths And A Lie” Icebreaker Solves Cold Case Of Professor’s Dead Wife

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017 Rachel Slur

On the first day of “Introduction To Introductions,” Professor Stephen Gilroy was shocked when a simple icebreaking game of Two

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Academics Articles Lifestyle 

OPINION: If You Love Berlin So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?

January 23, 2017January 23, 2017 Dan Quayle

  It’s only the first day back to school and friends of Anna Littman have already had enough of her

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Academics Articles Lifestyle 

Freshman Well Aware Of How Wildly Unrealistic Her Weekend Plans Are

December 16, 2016December 16, 2016 John Frey

According to sources, Tisch freshman Janet Johnson knows deep down how wildly unrealistic her weekend plans actually are. Although perhaps

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Articles On Campus 

Faculty & Students Agree: New Mercer St. Building’s Beautiful Roof Garden Makes Us Forget About Slavery In NYU-Abu Dhabi

December 15, 2016December 15, 2016 Murray Samsonite

After NYU released the plans for 181 Mercer St., the all-purpose building that is replacing Coles on Mercer and Bleecker,

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Academics Articles Lifestyle 

STUDENT VOICES: Why I’m “So Done” With Finals But I Still Have Three Finals Left But My Attitude Is Like So Over Finals But Not Actually Because There’s So Much Left

December 14, 2016December 14, 2016 Michael Sarah

I am giving up. I am packing my things. I am flying home. But not actually, because I still have

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Academics Articles On Campus 

Double Monday Schedule Sends Fragile Sophomore Over Edge Of Reality

December 13, 2016December 13, 2016 Maya Wife

In order to make up for a previous long weekend, NYU has decided this finals week to have two Monday

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Articles Lifestyle Sports 

Impressive! With A Convenient Gym Downstairs, Palladium Resident Still Manages To Avoid Working Out

December 12, 2016December 12, 2016 Michael Sarah

Palladium resident and NYU sophomore Sasha Horrowitz has managed to avoid working out despite the convenient state-of-the-art gym just an

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Academics Articles Stern 

Father Returning For MBA Attempts To Have Cookout During Lecture

December 9, 2016December 9, 2016 Paul Schart

An economics lecture in Stern was disrupted early Thursday morning by a student who began hosting a patio cookout. Peter

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Academics Articles 

BRAVE: Senior Forwards Tuition Statement To Parents Before Reading It

December 8, 2016December 8, 2016 Frederick Krueger

‘Tis the season to pay your spring semester tuition! On Monday, senior Samantha Silverspün received an email from the Bursar’s

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Articles Opinion 

WSL Editorial Board: NYU Should Be More Transparent So We Have More Things To Make Fun Of

December 7, 2016December 7, 2016 Murray Samsonite

After heavy deliberation, the Editorial Board of Washington Square Local has agreed that NYU needs to be more transparent about

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Academics Articles CAS 

Genius Freshman Changes Essay Layout To Be 90% Margins, 10% Actual Words

December 6, 2016December 6, 2016 Maya Wife

With finals approaching and assignments stacking up, sly CAS freshman Joey Slurp has discovered the perfect strategy for meeting his

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Academics Articles 

Usually Silent Student Just Now Remembering Participation Grade

December 5, 2016December 5, 2016 Air Bud

After not speaking at all this semester in her Children’s Literature class, Katie Schirman (‘18) clearly only just remembered the

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Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Headlines 

Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now

November 10, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Headlines 

Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever

October 26, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Headlines Stern 

Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year

October 23, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Headlines 

Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life

October 15, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Headlines 

Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed

October 4, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Headlines 

Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week

October 3, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines 

Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"

September 13, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines Other 

Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty

December 10, 2015 Dick Tarpis Comments Off on Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty
Headlines Other 

Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active
Headlines Other 

Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life
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