CONTROVERSY: NYU Quidditch Team Kneels During Harry Potter Theme Song at Home Opener

NYU’s most prominent athletic team took a stand, or rather a knee, for what they believe in this week during their season opener at home against Columbia University.

While the Lions stood at attention with their hands over their heart in silent reverence during the traditional pre-game observance of the sport’s anthem, the Violets refused to follow suit, instead kneeling down in apparent protest of Magical Law Enforcement Policy.

“We refuse to stay silent when muggle-born wizards face profiling and persecution at the hands of Aurors every single day,” said NYU Captain and Chaser Mildred Pullermorgy after the match, adding that, “Aurors do not have proper oversight and are frequently under-trained before turning their wands on the citizens they aspire to protect.”  

Despite our assurances that Aurors and Wands are not real and have no bearing on the world as we know it, some members of the Columbia side took offense to the protest.

Columbia Beater Thudd Barnsely said, “Aurors were expected to sacrifice everything during the wars against You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters, and many of them paid the ultimate price. Doing anything but standing with your hand over your heart during the Harry Potter anthem is disrespectful to their memory and disrespectful to the magical community. Have some fucking class.”

In other news, the price of the galleon fell close to 27% today, sending the Apothecary markets into a free fall. Check out our end-of-the-day business report for more coverage.