Robert De Niro Spends Entire Tisch Salute Speech Trying To Convince Audience That “Meet The Fockers” Was Critically Underappreciated

Although it seemed like a fun opening joke at first, after thirty-five minutes it became very apparent that Robert De Niro planned to use his entire address at the Tisch Salute Commencement Ceremony to fight for the reputation of the sequel to Meet the Parents. “Here’s the thing; Me and Dustin Hoffman. One movie. I don’t care who you are, that’s funny,” orated De Niro passionately. “I’ve made some pretty good movies. I think I know what I’m talking about, alright? Funny is funny. You heard of Goodfellas? Fuck you. Bada boom.” De Niro also seemed to be under the impression that he was speaking to his relatives either at Thanksgiving or a family reunion, and had no idea he was speaking to strangers.