How To Break It To Your Parents You Have To Do A Fifth Year

  1. Use a fun icebreaker. Everyone tell a fun fact about themselves! My fun fact is I failed organic chemistry.
  2. Sing them a song. Preferably, Sam Cooke’s 1960 hit “What A Wonderful World.” Don’t know much about history/ Don’t know much biology/ Don’t know much about a science book / Don’t know much about the french I took. /But I do know that I love you.
  3. Shout it as the elevator doors close between you like you’re in a romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant.
  4. Remind them of your sibling’s mistakes. Jennifer once dated a Republican.
  5. Tell them you’re pregnant with Andy Hamilton’s child. Then they’ll say “Who’s Andy Hamilton?” and you’ll say “The president of my school,” and they’ll say “Disgusting,” and then tell them you failed organic chemistry.