As the semester winds to a close, sophomore and Classic Rock superfan Danny “Baby Clapton” Carter admits he was dissatisfied with the subject material of his Classics 206 course.
Baby Clapton contends that he took the class, a lecture exploring ancient Greek & Roman political theory, because “nobody talks about the fucking classics anymore, man. Zeppelin. The Stones. Fuckin’ Sabbath. It’s all Bieber and Jonas nowadays, and I hate it.” Classic rock staples such as The Beatles, Kiss, AC/DC, and others are not covered or even remotely discussed in a class that aims to familiarize students with the works of Thucydides, Plato, Aristotle, Polybius, and Cicero.
“I was born in the wrong fucking decade, dude. Nobody gets me. Roger Waters? David Lee Roth? Those are the only people we should be listening to. Not this fucking hack of a professor going on about Selena Gomez or some shit,” remarked Baby Clapton on renowned Classics professor Harvey Brighton, who holds a PhD in Ancient Greek Studies from Columbia and in addition to not ever mentioning Selena Gomez, never even touched upon popular music at any point in the semester.
“Mr. Baby Clapton was openly upset about the content of my class and made his voice heard,” said Brighton, when asked for comment. I would have kicked him out had he not turned in every assignment on time and made several poignant, thoughtful arguments in his term papers.”