CAS Senior Jeffrey Lee has spent the last four months eagerly awaiting what he calls, “the takedown of the century.” Four bags of Tostitos, a gallon of medium-hot salsa, and a 30-rack of Bud Lite are among the preparations the only member of NYU’s College Republicans club has made. “This is gonna be great,” Lee said. “The Don is gonna blow $hillary Killed-em out of the water.”
“I spent all weekend devising the perfect drinking game for tonight,” he told reporters outside his apartment in the Financial District. “Sip every time there’s an attempt to humanize minorities, gulp when she proposes a totally reasonable tax hike on billionaires, and fucking chug your whole drink every time she tries to make healthcare more accessible for everybody. I’m gonna be fucking wasted by the end of this.”
Lee has already drafted multiple tweets and Facebook status updates that he plans to deploy mere seconds after “that dirty red commie finishes every comment,” and has been practicing throwing empty beer cans at his television set while cursing the liberal agenda.
He went on to add that, “any fellow Republicans out there are welcome to come to my apartment for an after-party, where we’ll go to my roof and shoot our guns into the sky while drinking heavily, being racist, and reveling in our own idiocy.”