Morgan Spurlock Films “Super Size Me”-Style Documentary With Third North Dining Hall: Develops 8 Types of Stomach Cancer

Academy Award-Nominated documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock recently announced the completion of a documentary made in the style of his hit Super Size Me, except with Third North Dining Hall, the dormitory that he lived in when he attended NYU.

“New York University says that on a meal plan, you can eat here three times a day and be perfectly healthy. I set out to test that,” says Spurlock.

When consulting a physician about the safety of this experiment, Dr. Robert Leusten of Mount Sinai Hospital said, “What? Nobody should eat there ever. Much less three times a day. What, this guy got a fuckin’ death wish? Do something real with your time. I save people’s lives. God damn film school bullshit. When I -”

As promised by the salty Dr. Leusten, after two weeks of eating the substance advertised as “food”, Spurlock indeed rapidly developed a veritable menagerie of tumors in his stomach. “It looks like when vibrators have those weird moving ball bearings inside of them, you know?” said one very unprofessional nurse.

Although he’s been given two months to live, Spurlock says it was all worth it. “Maybe now I’ll finally get that Oscar,” he grumbled in between cancerous wheezings.