TransLoc Rider, the new Uber-style app that offers Safe-Ride services to NYU students, will begin charging surge prices based on the amount of danger a student is in when they request the ride. When a driver believes that a student is safe, the price will remain low. Immediate, high-threat situations will end up costing more, as Safe-Ride drivers really don’t want to deal with that.
“As always, this service comes at no charge to NYU students, aside from a minor fee based upon your current situation. We’re able to provide a valuable service, and if students feel endangered, our valuable service just got a lot more valuable, and pricing should reflect that. Also, we wouldn’t want to put any SafeRide Drivers in an unsafe situation,” said an NYU Public Safety Representative. “We think the fee, while allowing us to keep Safe-Ride services free, will encourage students to tough it out and stop being such pussies. What’s paying a small fee compared to your peace of mind?”
Variables that factor into the fee include time of the day, current weather conditions, whether you are being chased, and if the gun pointed at your head is loaded or not. “I was walking at midnight the other day near Bobst and the ride was basically free, but then some guy called me “an angry Methodist Cunt Stain”, and suddenly getting to Founders was going to cost me 20 bucks,” Sam Waterston, CAS ’20, tells us. “Once he threw a beer bottle at me, I knew I had to get out of there, so I called an Uber. I know those guys wouldn’t fuck me over.”