In Addition to Free Admission to Moma, Fricke, NYU ID Now Gets You Free Boa Constrictor

NYU is proud to announce that perks of being a Violet just got a little better: in addition to the many freeseums, NYU students now are entitled to one complimentary Boa Constrictor. “It’s set to be a long winter this year, so I’m glad NYU could provide this in place of a significant other,” said Sophomore Alex Kelley. “Both Shelley (my constrictor) and I are both 5′ 6″, so I will have to be a little careful about being constricted to death when she sleeps in my bed.” NYU had no comment as to why this totally insane program was put in place or whether this was used to thin out the overadmitted freshman class.