NYU Begins Sending Late Student Worker Checks By Massive Fleet Of Paper Airplanes Over Washington Square Park

Shrouded by a creeping, forlorn darkness sweeping over Washington Square Park, student workers witnessed the biannual arrival of their long awaited work-study checks as they collectively soared above the park in their traditional paper airplane fleet. Students, some of whom hadn’t received a check in upwards of 6 months, looked up in glee as their collective compensations dive bombed their empty wallets, as well as faces and hands.

Though often pressured to release student payments on a timely basis, NYU again insists that this money backlog is an inevitability, and if there were an easier way to address the issue than raining down the thousands of checks like a payroll Luftwaffe, then they would.

“There’s simply no other way around it,” comments John Sexton. “The way we look at it, the students shouldn’t view this event as overdue airborne harbingers of paper cuts, but as a glimmering, well-deserved sky parade, celebrating the students like an NYU-approved eclipse as our wealth blots out the sun.”