NYU officials confirmed today that, while Andrew Hamilton’s astounding ability to call which side of the coin would land face up with 100% accuracy certainly impressed the powers that be, it totally, definitely, probably did not have anything to do with his appointment as John Sexton’s heir to the throne.
Hamilton reportedly said nothing during his roughly two hour interview, instead opting to pull a shiny sixpence coin from his pocket, flick it impressively into the air, and correctly predict “heads’ or “tails” no less than 109 times.
“No. No. No. Maybe,” said Pohn Jodesta, chair of the Presidential Search Committee, when asked if Hamilton’s seemingly magical powers wowed him. “It was certainly a spectacle to behold, but did it confirm my belief that he was the best man for the job? No. We still put him through the most rigorous of selection tests. But we can’t deny, what the demonstration showed the committee was his unique approach to making tough decisions. Got a problem? Flip a coin. Simply genius.”