OPINION: If You Love Berlin So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?

It’s only the first day back to school and friends of Anna Littman have already had enough of her stories about her semester abroad in Berlin.

Sources report that Littman, a junior in Global Liberal Studies, has spent the day talking in a thick German accent and wearing a dirndl.

“It doesn’t stop there,” reported Littman’s close friend and confidante Rachel Wise. “She keeps referring to halal food as ‘getting a döner kebab’ and won’t go out to any club other than Output.”

At press time, Littman was seen pouring lemon juice on a schnitzel and drinking deeply from a beer stein.