Pike Announces They Will Be Classing It Up For Fall Formal By Only Butt Chugging 1971 Napa Valley Pinot Noir

Saying he’s tired of frat culture being associated with butt chugging cheap liquor, Junior Sam Bishop, a member of Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, has pioneered the trend of pouring expensive wine down his butt.

“Look” said Bishop, “I’ve dumped gallons of Smirnoff into my rectum. Sometimes you’re looking for something more complex, more nuanced.” Bishop’s actions have caught on with his fellow brothers. Sophomore Bert McCuddy is happy to be able to change the image of fraternities on campus. “So many people think all we do is stand around, or more accurately bend over, and allow our rectal wall to absorb high quantities of alcohol. But that’s changing. Just the other day we sampled this lovely Shiraz. Really bold expressive flavor. Hints of oak. Wonderful body. At least that’s what the packaging said. There aren’t any taste buds in your butt.”

At press time members of PIKE were debating whether red or white wine pairs better with systematic racism.