Pike Crashes Darknet With Third Massive Order of Rohypnol This Week

NYU’s Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, affectionately known as Pike, made Internet history earlier today by being the first organization to topple the Darknet without the help of federal authorities.

Pike president Paul Kenneth Bernardo reported that, “at approximately 6.52am this morning, during a routine restock of the fraternity’s roofie supply, our IT department accidentally exceeded the network’s ability to process such a large order.”

Despite this minor setback, Bernardo said he was happy to announce that the organization was able to “secure a secondary source of seduction sedatives” and assured the public at large that, “this weekend’s planned activities will proceed as scheduled,” ending his interview with a cheeky little wink.