Report: Stern Full of Synergy, Other Business Things

NEW YORK, NY — An internal report released this morning confirmed that NYU’s Stern School of Business is brimming with synergy, and other business things. “Our annual audit shows that synergy in Stern is at an all time high, workflow is off the charts, innovation is soaring, and other business things are also high too,” said Stern Undergraduate College Dean Geeta Menon, adding that the report also mentions increases in balance sheet, arbitrage, and dividend levels. “Stern prides itself at being good at business. We will continue to teach students business things in order to land a business job and we believe that synergy will help.” Dean Menon concluded by saying, “Yes, synergy, Stern, business business business.”