Reports Show Passive Aggressive Notes Aren’t From Roommate, But Timid Ghost

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Throughout the academic year, Freshman Sean Goldman had simply assumed the non-confrontational notes left around the dorm to be from his roommate. However, recent developments have now proved that Peter the Passive ghost is in fact the culprit.

“I feel he’s not really being fair. He can’t even touch the sink, why does it have to be cleaned EVERY week?” said Sean, who has brought up the issue with paranormal experts, as well as his RA who when questioned replied, “When there’s something strange, in your dorm room, who ya gonna call? Huh? Guys? Do you get it? Personally, I’m less concerned about the choice of female leads and more concerned with the lack of Ernie Hudson. The guy needs work. But yeah, no, they did not go over this in orientation.”

To get the other side of the story, a séance was held in the so-called “disgusting shithouse that is the bathroom”. Once communication was established, Peter had this to say, “I’m not asking for a lot, just for him to do his fair share. Sure, I don’t have a body, and only two of the six senses, but would it kill him to tidy up, or at least buy the toilet paper for once?”