Senior Spotted Carrying Umbrella Even Though It’s Lovely Out Today
With the forecast clear and the radar spotless, ongoers looked in confusion today as senior Beth Gerbles strolled down Washington Square Place carrying an umbrella, even though it’s a lovely day out. Unopened yet still prominently displayed, Beth’s yellow compact umbrella was a pinky slipped up the butt of society, leaving many to question exactly what she was thinking when she left home today.
“I mean, was she expecting rain? Anyone with eyes and a brain can see that it’s not going to rain today. Is it a fashion statement? Am I behind the trends?” commented Larry Pewter, who followed Beth for a good two minutes after seeing her, waiting for her next move. “She didn’t even address it! What, is she just so over prepared that she brings an umbrella everywhere? Does she have a toboggan in her backpack in case of a blizzard?” he continued, unable to cope with the questions the day raised for him.
Reports suggest that the answers continue to elude those affected, none finding solace in the fact that maybe she was just carrying it, and that there doesn’t have to be a reason. Some have attributed this to Chaos Theory, but others speculate that free will implies Beth made a conscious decision to take her umbrella with her today, and that the unpredictability of the universe is explainable through human action and consciousness.
This of course led to the question of if free will does in fact exist, some arguing that Beth was meant to carry the umbrella that day, and had no choice in the matter. We are all merely pawns in the universe’s chess game, and Beth’s umbrella is but another move. These faith-havers have taken to calling themselves “The Beth Believers”, while skeptics refuse to name themselves.
