Senior Who Wrestled In Baby Oil Pool In Third North Freshman Year Hasn’t Done Anything Notable Since

When Teresa Carpenter agreed to wrestle another girl in an inflatable pool full of baby oil, she didn’t realize it would be the most notable achievement in her college career.

“I almost made the Dean’s list twice, and I went to a lot of free food events, but ultimately it all pales compared to that fateful day,” said Carpenter, still inexplicably drenched in baby oil. “When I think of the cheers and applause I drew grappling with that slippery, slippery gal, my heart just sings.”

Her parents were unavailable for comment.