Stern Building Installs Stern-Only Water Fountains In Addition to School-Specific Wi-Fi

New York University’s Leonard N. Stern School of Business is notoriously quick to disassociate from the rest of the university. Students at Stern have their own business-casual dress code, email addresses, and access to a Stern-only Wi-Fi network called “SternOnTheMove2.” Officials claim that Stern’s private amenities are just as good as those available at the rest of the university, “Yes, Stern and Non-Stern facilities are separate. But they’re equal,” declared Stern Professor Havermoore. The building’s recently installed water fountains, however, beg to differ.

The administration at NYU Stern installed pairs of water fountains throughout the building labeled “Stern” and “Other” last Wednesday, with only the “Stern” water fountains serving refrigerated water: inciting rage from Non-Stern students taking a class in Tisch Hall. “I’m sick of Stern’s blatant attempts to segregate Stern students from the rest of NYU students. No one school is better than any other. At the end of the day, we’re all Violets…Or is it Bobcats? Wait, which one is our mascot?” said Sophomore Hanna Williams, rocking a “Tischies Have More Fun” sweatshirt. “It just doesn’t feel fair.”

Todd Wexler, Associate Dean of the Stern School of Business, claims that this energy-saving decision is purely economical. Although Wexler was unavailable to comment, his bureau of unpaid CAS “interns” assured Washington Square Local that “Any perceived discrimination is both unintended and unfortunate.”