A few weeks into the semester and still unable to make a solid impression on her Creative Writing Workshop, sophomore Mattie Flynn has started bringing bags of candy to each class in an attempt to bribe her peers for popularity. Spending an estimated $9 a week just to earn her professor’s and classmates’ approval has proved to be an difficult, if not impossible, task.
Ranging from Tootsie Pops to Swedish Fish, and sometimes even mini candy bars, Flynn has brought just about anything she can to make everyone in her class feel obligated to be nice to her. Asking each one their candy preferences, and making mental note of who’s partaking, she has established an uncomfortable role amongst the group. When someone dared to give her a criticism during the feedback session for her latest fiction piece, Flynn responded “I guess I should’ve brought more candy this week, HA HA!” in the most passive aggressive tone she could muster. This made the other students too uncomfortable and wary to give Flynn any real notes on her work, in fear of having the treats held over their heads.
While this sweet-toothed trick has not caused a single student or teacher to actually enjoy Flynn as a person, it has secured a complicated class dynamic for the rest of the semester. Now known as “the candy girl,” Mattie is sure to use this thinly veiled power move as much as possible over the remaining class sessions. There have been rumors of a student strike against the candy, though we’ll see if that willpower holds up once Flynn upgrades to bringing in cookies.