WSL Reporter’s Bowels Explode After Seeing Friend’s Performance Art Show

Late Friday night, many pants and eyes became equally moist after viewing the new art installation at Agora Gallery in Chelsea, “Fuckwad Meatstick Canoe Clothespin”. I, your humble reporter, and many other viewers paid the price of beauty in brown chunks.

Pandemonium settled in after the initial shock of piece. While the gallery owners panicked and called Emergency Services, others called out for the warm safety of the womb. After the conclusion of the piece, Performance Art alum Dale Realisly scratched out his eyeballs, ran outside, and married the first woman he saw. When asked why, he simply remarked, “I gave up.”

This reporter attempted to describe the piece in an earlier draft but the letters suddenly began to fall off the page, as their intention was to describe a piece that was, in it and of itself, all-encompassing. The letters lost all distinction and ceased to exist.

Either way, I had a great fucking time at my friend Tim’s art show—even if he is dyslexic.