NYU Prof. Responds to Complaints: “I Left The Cursor In The Middle Of The Video On Purpose, And I’ll Fucking Do It Again”

Listen here you undergraduate millennial shit sack, I’m not a fucking idiot. You don’t get a 4.6 and a chili pepper on Rate My Professor without playing the game, and I played that bitch like Lebron Fucking James. Show a video on day one and you dipshits swoon right out of your fucking seats. You think this is part of the fucking lesson? News flash, asshat, this isn’t high school, and this YouTube video is just the juicy worm for your little fish brain to jump at. This is all for that sweet end of semester 5/5 you limp dicks will click out for the “cool prof”, so don’t you fucking act like I don’t know how to use a fucking computer.

This classroom is hell and I am the thick red dick of Satan himself, so you better believe that I’ll leave that cursor right in the middle of the video, and I’ll wear a fat fucking smile while I do. I’ll leave that pointy little bitch right on the bottom too so the goddamn timestamp never goes away, just to piss you the fuck off. Ask me to full screen it? Fuck your pencil tip first, because I plan to leave this video more regular-sized than your dad’s dick. I’ll leave 14 fucking tabs open too, and you can bet your shitty life at least 3 of them are the Google homepage, and they’re all running on Internet Explorer. I wanna see you sweat, motherfucker.

What’s that? You want to help me fix the screen? Sit down Icarus, because I will melt your fucking face off if you even get near this keyboard. I’m here for one reason and one reason only, to see your OCD ass break down 4 minutes into a 12-minute video. I will make you beg to buy a textbook. Try to look away? I will make every question on the exam on this video. Do not try me, fuck face, because only once you are broken will I stand over the broken shards of your psyche, survey the earth I have scorched like Sherman’s March to the Fucking Sea, and finally stop the video.

And you will fucking love me for it.