In an cruel nod to “Spongebob Squarepants,” a depressed sophomore was dropped off by an NYU bus at a stop called Rock Bottom last Monday, sources say. The sad boy in question, Randy Carpets, a second-year student in CAS, found himself at the unmarked stop with nowhere to turn.
Carpets was dropped off at Rock Bottom after boarding Bus Route F at 715 Broadway, bound for the 14th & 3rd stop. However, the bus never stopped where Carpets was hoping. Said Carpets, “Things just aren’t going my way.” After a lengthy ride that never seemed to end, Carpets was let out at the one and only stop. “I almost didn’t mention it to anyone. Mostly because I don’t know anyone.”
The bus stop Rock Bottom was later identified by reporters as the intersection of 4th & Ave. D, across the street from a $.99-pizzeria and a bar that hosts storytelling open mics.