Headlines Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now November 10, 2016February 15, 2017 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever October 26, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Stern Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year October 23, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life October 15, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed October 4, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week October 3, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3" September 13, 2016November 1, 2016 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Freshman From West Coast Experiencing First Winter Doesn’t Get What All The Fuss Is About December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines Other Freshman Loses Virginity, Finds it Under his Desk Later December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Reese Witherfork Read more
Headlines Other Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Dick Tarpis Read more
Headlines Other Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Other Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Other Depressed Sophomore Begins Smoking Cigarettes As Excuse To Stand Outside Alone In The Cold December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Micky Fine Read more
Headlines Other Member of Group Presentation Pulls a “Doc Brown”, Sends Letter to Partners Saying He Is Living Happily in the Year 1885 December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Murray Samsonite Read more
Headlines Other Sophomore Celebrates Hanukkah by Witnessing the Miracle of the One-hitter That Lasted for Eight December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Julius Sneezer Read more
Headlines Other Senior Really Wants You To Know He’s Graduating In December December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Paul Schart Read more
Headlines Attempted Joke In Essay Title Prepares Professor For C+ Paper At Best December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Micky Fine Read more
Headlines NYU On Finals Study Hours: “If You’re Going to Kill Yourself, Please Do it Quietly” December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines Freshman Finally Changes Cover Photo from That Picture of the Skyline She Found on Google December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Reese Witherfork Read more
Headlines Junior Forgets To Change Company Name On Master Cover Letter, Sends Out 20 Internship Applications Addressed To “Domino’s Pizza” December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine Read more
Headlines Professor Forgets Every Student’s Name Over Thanksgiving Break December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine Read more
Headlines Game Of “Never Have I Ever” Quickly Becomes Passive Game Of Asking Which Friend Has Done Anal December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine Read more
Academics CAS Headlines Senior Studying Astrophysics Surprisingly Down-To-Earth December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dan Quayle Read more
Headlines Shitty Professor and Lazy Student Discover Newfound Respect For Each Other December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dick Tarpis Read more
Headlines Sound of Roommate’s Thunderous Chewing is No Match For Other Roomate’s Blaring Podcast on Headphones December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Sophomore Throws in the Towel on Getting Laid this Semester December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines Hayden “Locally Farmed Poultry” Revealed to be WSP Pigeons December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dick Tarpis Read more
Headlines Most Popular Item Sold in NYU Bookstore for 2015: Bayonets December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dan Quayle Read more
Headlines New Hard Rock Cafe Adds to Quaint, Homey Atmosphere on 8th Street December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines Tisch Classmates Pretty Sure Student’s Sight and Sound Project is Shot for Shot Remake of Star Wars Cantina Scene December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines Junior On Budget’s Preferred Chasers Include Water, Air December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines Roommate’s Six Weekend Guests Annoyingly Nice and Pleasant December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines Sophomore Avoids Holiday Weight Gain By Never Feeling Anything Again After Her December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines Stern Stern Junior Sees Market Niche for Yet Another Jewish Tinder December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Paul Schart Read more
CAS Headlines International Politics Class Just Gonna Watch A Movie This Week December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Rachel Slur Read more
Headlines New Gender Studies Course Offered By Tisch Just “Norbit” Playing On A Continuous Loop December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Paul Schart Read more
Headlines Overworked Sophomore Self-Identifies as Corpse December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Air Bud Read more
Headlines NYU Asks Students to Not Fuck This Up for Us if Malia Obama Visits Again December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Murray Samsonite Read more
Headlines Unburdened by RA’s, Sophomore is Finally Free to Celebrate Danksgiving December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Rachel Slur Read more
Headlines Sophomore Pretends She Didn’t Run Into 4 Tinder Matches On Way To Afternoon Classes December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines NYU Student Detained in North Korea Walks Into Turkey to Try to Solve This Problem Too December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dan Quayle Read more
Headlines Prestigious Internship Offers Hollow Reinforcement Of Student’s Overblown Ego December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dick Tarpis Read more
Headlines Vegan Sophomore Attempts Horribly Insensitive “Turkey Lives Matter” Protest December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Whoopie Goldblum Read more
Headlines Cool Sophomore Lets Loser Mom Down Easy And Confirms He Will Not Be Home For Thanksgiving December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Atticus Binch Read more
Headlines Senior Takes Adderall to Focus; Spends Four Hours Rating All the Music in his iTunes Library December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Atticus Binch Read more
Headlines Junior Pressed For Space Campaigns Against Book Spreading in Bobst – “Like Manspreading, but Academic” December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines Tisch Tisch Junior’s Special Skills Include “Accents – All of Them” December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Whoopie Goldblum Read more
Headlines Film Student Spends More On Fake Blood Than Groceries December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines CAS Junior Gets Paper Extended til After Thanksgiving Due to Father Being Her 5th Source December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dan Quayle Read more
Headlines Stern Stern Senior Chokes On His Own Brand December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Rachel Slur Read more
Headlines “Trauma in Adolescence” Professor Doesn’t Curve Midterm To Show Students What Trauma Really Is December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Air Bud Read more
Headlines Rich International Student Copes with Thanksgiving Loneliness by Buying Up World Supply of Giblets December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Murray Samsonite Read more
Headlines Bridge Troll-in-Residence Graptha the Disfigured Asks Student to Come to Office Hours in Williamsburg Bridge Underpass December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Dan Quayle Read more
Headlines Freshman Still Doesn’t Know Roommate’s Name, Major, Gender December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Rachel Slur Read more
Headlines Senior’s Friends Mistake Consistently Ruined Eye Makeup Due to Crying As New Aesthetic Choice December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears Read more
Headlines Stern BREAKING: Stern Wifi Just As Difficult to Deal With as Stern Students December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Rachel Slur Read more
Headlines Dining Hall Ice Cream Machine Last Cleaned Before Sexton’s Inauguration Party December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Whoopie Goldblum Read more
Headlines NYU Constructs Toll Booth Under Washington Square Arch November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines After Skirball Immediately Sells Out of all $10 Hamilton Tickets, Students Disappointed to Discover They’re for Andrew Hamilton’s One-Man Show November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
Headlines In The Spirit Of Shia LaBeouf’s “All My Movies”, Tisch Sophomore Holds Own 15-Minute Filmography Retrospective November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 Carl Jr. Read more
