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Administration

Administration Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

John Sexton Forms 1860s Irish Immigrant Gang Out Of Boredom

March 4, 2017March 4, 2017 Murray Samsonite

In an apparent nod to Martin Scorsese’s 2002 film Gangs of New York, President Emeritus John Sexton formed an 1860s-style

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Administration Articles 

FUN FACT: Andrew Hamilton’s Chief Of Staff Is Also Andrew Hamilton

March 2, 2017March 2, 2017 Murray Samsonite

Although nobody ever talks about it, Andrew Hamilton is more than just President of NYU. Yes, in addition to his

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Administration Articles On Campus 

NYU Institutes Policy Of “Extreme Vetting” After Dangerous Extremist Incites Violence On Campus

February 3, 2017February 3, 2017 Julius Sneezer

With the dust beginning to settle after the speaking engagement of far right extremist Gavin McInnes, attention has turned to how

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Administration Articles On Campus 

CAMPUS PROFILES: Meet The Graphic Designer Who Photoshops Medical Degrees For The Health Center

February 1, 2017 Dan Quayle

Among the dozens of amazing people that work at NYU, few are as important as Kelly Wyatt, a graphic designer

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Administration Articles 

Andy Hamilton To Force New Students To Boom Op For His Web Series

September 29, 2016September 29, 2016 John Frey

In an email blast sent out last Thursday, Andrew Hamilton announced that, in addition to paying their normal tuition, all

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Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Announces New NYU Space Program

September 26, 2016September 26, 2016 Micky Fine

Keeping with his promise to the NYU community to continue bringing the school into the world of tomorrow, Andrew Hamilton

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Administration Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

John Sexton Spotted Begging New Students For Hugs

September 7, 2016September 7, 2016 Rachel Slur

NYU President Emeritus John Sexton was spotted crouched in the bushes of Washington Square Park late Tuesday evening according to

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Administration Articles On Campus 

Upside Down ‘U’ In Park Leaves Many Asking Questions

April 12, 2016April 12, 2016 Dick Tarpis

The scene was one of confusion and occasionally terror this past Tuesday, as many students gathered around a mysterious upturned

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Administration Articles On Campus 

Junior Accidentally Mailed Faculty Vacation Home

March 28, 2016March 28, 2016 Dick Tarpis

CAS junior Tommy Branton this past Sunday signed for a large package that appeared to be a luxurious vacation home meant

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Administration Articles 

NYU Announces $15,000/Hour Minimum Wage For Senior Administration

March 25, 2016March 25, 2016 Julius Sneezer

After a major victory by student organizers on campus in achieving a minimum wage of $15/hr for all student workers,

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Administration Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU Weed Smokers Petition to Remove Undercover Cops From Their Classes

March 1, 2016March 1, 2016 Micky Fine

Progressive Reform is sweeping NYU as the unified marijuana users of the school petition for the removal of all the

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Administration Articles On Campus 

Study Shows Monopoly Money More Useful Than Campus Cash

February 18, 2016February 18, 2016 Murray Samsonite

A new study published earlier this week definitively proves that Monopoly Money is more useful the NYU’s Campus Cash. Conducted

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Administration Articles 

NYU Officials: Andrew Hamilton’s Mad Coin Tossing Skills Totally Not a Factor in Appointment to Presidency

February 3, 2016February 3, 2016 Dan Quayle

NYU officials confirmed today that, while Andrew Hamilton’s astounding ability to call which side of the coin would land face up

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Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Exceeds Students’ First Week Expectations Just By Showing Up

January 29, 2016January 29, 2016 Micky Fine

A little less than a week into his run as NYU president, Andrew Hamilton has already surpassed many students’ expectations

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Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Spends First Day As President Firmly Planted in Roadside Snowdrift

January 25, 2016January 26, 2016 Dan Quayle

Newly elected NYU President Andrew Hamilton had an eventful first day in office, spending most of it firmly planted in

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Administration Articles 

John Sexton Clarifies He Was Stepping Down From His Office Chair

December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Dan Quayle

In a statement released earlier today, John Sexton responded to the long-standing belief that he was stepping down as NYU’s

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Academics Administration Articles 

NYU Langone Set To Offer ED (Early Decision) Pills To Prospective Freshman

December 1, 2015 Dick Tarpis

In collaboration with the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, NYU Langone has announced new pills to help motivate high school students who have

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Administration Articles 

Financial Aid Office Announces New Procedure for Filing Complaint About Complexity of Complaint-Filing System

November 30, 2015November 30, 2015 Dan Quayle

WAfter much criticism over a bureacratic system described as “labyrinthian” and  “impossible”, NYU has announced new revised guidelines to filing

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Administration Articles 

NYU Administration Proudly Announces That Racism is Over

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015 Carl Jr.

Following protests at Kimmel and a university-wide diversity forum on Wednesday, NYU administrators sent out an email on Saturday confirming that,

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Academics Administration Articles 

Hamster Powering Albert Goes On Strike

November 9, 2015November 9, 2015 Rachel Slur

It’s a stressful time of year for all members of the NYU community as registration approaches, but especially for the

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Administration Articles On Campus 

John Sexton Suspiciously “Unsurprised” About Human Remains Under Washington Square Park

November 6, 2015November 6, 2015 Special Agent Dale Cooper's MILF

After maintenance workers under Washington Square Park discovered a vault containing 19th century human remains, John Sexton seemed remarkably unsurprised.

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Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Resigns President-Elect Position After Visiting New York for First Time

November 3, 2015November 4, 2015 Murray Samsonite

In a surprise move, Andrew Hamilton has announced he is turning down the position of NYU’s sixteenth president, a position he

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Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Headlines 

Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now

November 10, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Headlines 

Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever

October 26, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Headlines Stern 

Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year

October 23, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Headlines 

Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life

October 15, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Headlines 

Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed

October 4, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Headlines 

Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week

October 3, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines 

Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"

September 13, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines Other 

Depressed Sophomore Begins Smoking Cigarettes As Excuse To Stand Outside Alone In The Cold

December 10, 2015 Micky Fine Comments Off on Depressed Sophomore Begins Smoking Cigarettes As Excuse To Stand Outside Alone In The Cold
Headlines 

Attempted Joke In Essay Title Prepares Professor For C+ Paper At Best

December 10, 2015 Micky Fine Comments Off on Attempted Joke In Essay Title Prepares Professor For C+ Paper At Best
Headlines Other 

Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active
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