There were many sadly painted faces on Saturday night, as news filtered in that Andrew Hamilton’s idea to turn Gallatin into NYU’s new clown college was deemed too controversial by the rest of the NYU administration. The rejected proposal follows the recent clown panic that has been plaguing the nation for the past several weeks.
Reaction amongst students was at first hard to gauge. “Why are you asking me?” asked one student we found wandering the lobby dressed in parachute pants, white make-up, and a multi-colored wig. “I’m not a clown. Just a regular Gallatin student,” he explained, honking his big red nose angrily. Another, found milling about behind a dumpster on a unicycle, just shook her head sadly as she juggled.
“It’s certainly a sad day for the university,” lamented Hamilton, when asked for comment. “It’s not even like we’d need a new building,” he added, going on to explain that the program would have been housed entirely within an old Volkswagen Beetle. “Alas, all the jokers and jesters of NYU can do is wait and hope for a time when they won’t be so unjustly persecuted.”