NYU To Open New Residence Hall On Rikers Island
NYU’s Residential Life & Housing Services made an astonishing announcement today by unveiling plans for a new Freshman dormitory, conveniently located
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Author: Dan Quayle
CAS Sophomore Declares Thumb War
After 2 years of drifting from one interest to another, sophomore Harold Pinkerton finally filed paperwork with the College of Arts
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NYU Law Grad Makes Judgement On Landmark ‘Man v. Food’ Case
Alex Havermeyer, NYU Law Class of ’12, is making headlines this morning after the culmination of a nearly year-long investigation
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Study Confirms Overall Satisfaction With Usual Hometown Hookup Decreasing Exponentially
A new study conducted by the NYU Psychology Department confirmed CAS junior Cassie Blankhardt’s suspicion that her usual hometown hookup, Chad
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NYU Republicans Call For Transfer Student Ban
The scene outside of President Andy Hamilton’s office late Tuesday evening was not a pretty one, as NYU College Republicans
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CAMPUS PROFILES: Meet The Graphic Designer Who Photoshops Medical Degrees For The Health Center
Among the dozens of amazing people that work at NYU, few are as important as Kelly Wyatt, a graphic designer
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Anthropology Department Discovers New Hominid Species At NYU Republicans Meeting
NYU’s own Anthropology department is making international headlines this morning after publishing a groundbreaking paper detailing the discovery of a
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Edward Snowden Found Hiding In South Elevator Of Barney Building
The custodial staff at NYU’s Barney Building made a shocking discovery last Friday when they found former CIA employee and
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OPINION: If You Love Berlin So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?
It’s only the first day back to school and friends of Anna Littman have already had enough of her
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Lone NYU Republican Prepares For Crazy Evening of Heckling TV By Himself
CAS Senior Jeffrey Lee has spent the last four months eagerly awaiting what he calls, “the takedown of the century.” Four
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NYU Football Team Captain Pretty Fucking Tired of Everyone Thinking They Don’t Exist
For years now NYU students have been yucking it up about their school’s apparent apathy towards any sort of physical
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Ass-Kissing Piece of Shit Only One Who Did the Reading
Sophomore Eduardo Gomez once again incurred the wrath of his fellow classmates yesterday by being the only one to do
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Freshman Tearfully Comes Out To Roommates As Straight White Male
After just one week of living together, Steinhardt freshman and Founders resident Drew Laracy felt an intimate bond developing with
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Pike Crashes Darknet With Third Massive Order of Rohypnol This Week
NYU’s Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, affectionately known as Pike, made Internet history earlier today by being the first organization to
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INTERVIEW: Straight White Freshman Hopes To Bring Unique Perspective To NYU’s Comedy Scene
ThunderSlutz is NYU’s oldest and most prestigious comedy team, and they’ve been delighting undergrads with their hilarious shows for years.
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Fraternity President to Step Down Amid Allegations of Being Decent, Kind Person
The executive board of NYU’s Pi Kappa Alpha announced late last night the results of its no-confidence vote directed at
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Pussy-Ass Freshman Drops Chem 2
After just three moderately difficult weeks of learning about properties of mixtures, freshman Geoff Lee has thrown in the towel.
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Musical Theater Major Totally Ready to Watch the World Series
“I’ve been shopping for days,” confesses Granger Robbins, a junior in Steinhardt’s Music Theatre department, as he places several boxes
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NYU Officials: Andrew Hamilton’s Mad Coin Tossing Skills Totally Not a Factor in Appointment to Presidency
NYU officials confirmed today that, while Andrew Hamilton’s astounding ability to call which side of the coin would land face up
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Andrew Hamilton Spends First Day As President Firmly Planted in Roadside Snowdrift
Newly elected NYU President Andrew Hamilton had an eventful first day in office, spending most of it firmly planted in
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John Sexton Clarifies He Was Stepping Down From His Office Chair
In a statement released earlier today, John Sexton responded to the long-standing belief that he was stepping down as NYU’s
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Wiccan Roommate Demands Winter Solstice Decorations Receive Equal Billing with Christmas Decorations in Common Room
Sophomore Wiccan Donnie Brasini is taking a stand for religious freedom at NYU by refusing to take down his traditional
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Financial Aid Office Announces New Procedure for Filing Complaint About Complexity of Complaint-Filing System
WAfter much criticism over a bureacratic system described as “labyrinthian” and “impossible”, NYU has announced new revised guidelines to filing
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Freshman Counting Down the Days Til More Regretful Sex With High School Sweetheart
After a Thanksgiving break filled with family, food, and quiet fucking in his childhood bed while his parents slept twenty
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Marketing Major Rebrands NYU Skinheads Club as “White Student Union”
In a move widely hailed as “daring”, “incredible”, and “downright genius”, Stern Marketing Senior Carl Cartwright has succeeded in the
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Tisch Actress Takes Astronomy Class, Discovers World Does Not Revolve Around Her
When Lisa Fox, an actress at NYU’s Lee Strasberg Theatre & Film Institute, decided to register for Quarks To Cosmos,
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Hayden RA Gathers Residents Around for the Spooky Tale of Spike Lee’s Roommate Who Died in The Great Pizzeria Fire
Senior Brian Burns gathered all of his residents around for a Halloween tradition that had been passed down to him
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Sophomore Would Rather Spend Hours Researching How Traceable Bomb Threats Are Than Study for Orgo Midterm
It’s crunch time in the hallowed halls of NYU, and while some students are turning to Adderall and caffeine to
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Professor Dresses Up As Main Character of Novel to See Who Did the Reading
Various “fun professors” across NYU are getting into the spirit this Halloween, and Jon Creecher, adjunct professor of English currently
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Lone NYU Republican Prepares For Crazy Evening of Heckling TV By Himself
CAS Senior Tim Donnelly has spent the last four days eagerly awaiting what he calls, “the shitshow of the century.” Four
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FROM THE WSL VAULT: NYU Begins Next Stage of Expansion with Distribution of Smallpox-Infected Blankets
In dishonor of Columbus Day, WSL is proud to bring you a hit from the WSL Vault. Originally published October
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Senior Unsure of What to Name Facebook Album After Running Out of Jay-Z Quotes
The day Marlee Gilfeather was dreading finally came last Friday, when, after four years of attending NYU, she ran out of
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NYU Proudly Announces “Clash of Clans” Will Now Be Accepting Campus Cash
After an impressive expansion of their Campus Cash program, NYU announced today that the newest vendor to accept the University’s
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Gallatin Announces New Course: “Hoop and Stick: Identifying Gender Through Puritanical Play Constructions”, Quickly Cancels It Due to Implying People Can Only Be Hoops Or Sticks
The Gallatin School of Individualized Study faced criticism today after announcing their new course offering “Hoop and Stick: Identifying Gender
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After Backlash Over “The Mikado”, Skirball Starting to Think Booking All-Caucasian Production of “Raisin in the Sun” Not the Best Idea
Following controversy over a production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s masterpiece “The Mikado” to be performed in yellowface, the Skirball Center
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NYPD Report Shows 96% of “CD Bullies” to be Clive Davis Grads
Following a recent string of assaults, muggings, and general disturbing of pussy-ass NYU freshmen, the NYPD has released an official
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Junior’s Reported Amount of Fun On Study Abroad Incongruous With Amount of Time Spent on Social Media
Although, Marco Matelli (CAS ’17) is reporting having “the time of his life” in London (and Amsterdam, and Barcelona, and
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