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Author: Britney Shakespears

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About Articles 

2017-2018 WSL Writers’ Application

September 7, 2017 Britney Shakespears application, apply, writer, writers

Do you know how to read and write? Do you have some ideas of ways to make fun of the

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Articles On Campus 

President Hamilton To Change Name Of Third North To Earl Grey

November 29, 2016November 29, 2016 Britney Shakespears

With his first 100 days nearing an end, President Andrew Hamilton has expanded his plans to improve NYU by implementing

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Articles On Campus 

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Andrew Hamilton Accounts For 18% Of Total Dining Hall Usage

November 13, 2016 Britney Shakespears

In a study conducted over the course of the semester, dining hall staff across campus have concluded based on meal

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Articles On Campus 

RA In Decoration Hell As Multiple Holiday Seasons Loom

November 5, 2016November 5, 2016 Britney Shakespears

With Halloween over, RAs all over campus are experiencing mental breakdowns as they frantically prepare hall decorations and floor events

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

New Study Finds Correlation Between Popularity, Unlimited Metrocard Ownership

October 20, 2016October 20, 2016 Britney Shakespears

A recent study on levels of social satisfaction amongst NYU students released by researchers at Langone this past Wednesday found a surprising correlation between

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

Junior Exercises Squatter’s Rights In Aftermath of Housing Registration

April 25, 2016April 25, 2016 Britney Shakespears

Although guaranteed housing for the 2016-2017 academic year, rising junior Chris Simon, will have to resort to squatting due to

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Articles Lifestyle 

Awkwardly Slow Elevator Creates Riveting Discussion About the Weather

April 14, 2016April 14, 2016 Britney Shakespears

At approximately, 1:53pm last Thursday, two professors and three students found themselves embroiled in a lively dialogue about the weather

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

Freshman In Weinstein Still Eating Chick-fil-A Twice a Day

April 7, 2016April 7, 2016 Britney Shakespears

    Despite being near the completion of her freshman year at NYU, Dani Bilden ‘19, has remained disgustingly loyal

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Articles Lifestyle 

Intern Waits For Coworkers to Leave For Lunch Before Stealing Back Pens

March 31, 2016March 31, 2016 Britney Shakespears

After months of working at her unpaid internship, Tania Lopez, CAS class of ‘19, decided to opt out of joining her

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Academics Articles Tisch 

Film & TV Senior Prepared to Use Sound Blanket as Comforter After Graduation

March 9, 2016March 9, 2016 Britney Shakespears

At long last in her final semester at NYU, Tisch senior Emilee Stannis is prepared for the tough times ahead as she

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article1
Uncategorized 

Andrew Hamilton’s Wife Launches “Let’s Move!” Campaign Because She Misses Home

March 4, 2016March 4, 2016 Britney Shakespears

Mere weeks after her husband took the position of President at NYU, Jennie Hamilton has already launched a dinner table

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Articles CAS 

Pre Med Student Dies From Finals Workload, Proudly Becomes Cadaver At NYU Langone

December 12, 2015December 11, 2015 Britney Shakespears

This week the NYU community was shocked when, Janis Milton ‘17, passed away due to her surmounting workload at the

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Headlines 

Freshman From West Coast Experiencing First Winter Doesn’t Get What All The Fuss Is About

December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Roommate’s Six Weekend Guests Annoyingly Nice and Pleasant

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Junior On Budget’s Preferred Chasers Include Water, Air

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Junior Pressed For Space Campaigns Against Book Spreading in Bobst – “Like Manspreading, but Academic”

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Senior’s Friends Mistake Consistently Ruined Eye Makeup Due to Crying As New Aesthetic Choice

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Film Student Spends More On Fake Blood Than Groceries

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Sophomore Pretends She Didn’t Run Into 4 Tinder Matches On Way To Afternoon Classes

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Teen girl sitting on a radiator
Articles Lifestyle 

Junior Finally Realizes Radiator Isn’t Rustic Vintage Decoration, But Source of Heat for Apartment

November 22, 2015November 19, 2015 Britney Shakespears

As the weather hasstarted its decline, Junior Tamara Wilson and her roommates found themselves searching all over their apartment for

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Headlines Other Uncategorized 

Freshman Openly, Aggressively In Love With Moderate Acquaintance

November 9, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Academics Articles Tisch 

Tisch Sophomore Knows More About Her Characters’ Wants Than Her Own

November 5, 2015November 4, 2015 Britney Shakespears

Hannah Weinberg, Tisch ’18, recently came to the realization that she is far more attuned to the wants, needs, and

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Headlines 

Hopeless Romantic Approaches Study Crush in Bobst With a Single Rose Sprinkled with Adderall

November 2, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

BREAKING: Actors Still Very Taxing To Have Functional Friendships With

November 2, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Free Condoms Safe, Untouched Under Judgemental Gaze Of Dorm Security Guard

November 2, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Articles Lifestyle 

New Stern Dating App Just LinkedIn Profiles

October 21, 2015October 21, 2015 Britney Shakespears

This week a group of Stern students launched their new, Stern-exclusive dating app, “HeadHunter” to their peers. Dubbed “Tinder for

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Headlines 

Guest Speaker For Lecture Earns Nickname “Human Melatonin” After Just 20 Minutes

October 19, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Two Palladium Residents Dead, Four Injured in Weekly Trader Joe’s Stampede

October 19, 2015December 1, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Articles 

Junior Without Rooftop Access Punches Hole In Ceiling in Order to Throw Party

October 17, 2015October 14, 2015 Britney Shakespears

Reports reveal that Steinhardt Junior Ralph Thompson was injured this weekend after throwing his first party in a new apartment.

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Headlines 

Stern Student Somehow Manages to Include Entire Resume in Question for Professor

October 13, 2015October 14, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Articles 

Bottle Of Red Wine Inspires Sophomore To Download Tinder For Third Time

October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 Britney Shakespears

 While Sophomore Tim Durkins has seen his low points over his college career, he really hit rock bottom last night, when

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Headlines 

Roommate Really Good At Filling Fridge With Groceries, Terrible At Eating Them Before They Rot

September 29, 2015September 29, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

BREAKING: “Green Dorm” With No AC/Elevators Just Administrative Excuse For Building Not Being Up to Code

September 20, 2015September 20, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

Teacher With 90 “Recommended” Books Laughs While Handing Out Syllabus

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Headlines 

RA From Colorado Will Only Write You Up for Smoking if She Can’t Guess Your Strain

September 4, 2015September 4, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Articles 

New Policy Has Welcome Week Leaders Aid Freshmen With All Classes, Activities, Sexual Encounters for Rest of Term

September 2, 2015September 2, 2015 Britney Shakespears

NYU announced today that after various complaints from Freshmen having difficulty adjusting to life in the big city, Welcome Week

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Headlines 

New Residence Hall Study Reports 68% Of Freshman Girls Forgot School Supplies, 0% Forgot Tapestries

September 1, 2015September 2, 2015 Britney Shakespears
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Articles Lifestyle 

New Wasserman Service Provides Red Sharpie and Classified Section To Students

May 5, 2015August 18, 2015 Britney Shakespears nyu employment, nyu. wasserman

In a groundbreaking new tactic to help NYU students find employment, the Wasserman Center for Career Development is now providing

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Academics Articles 

Senior From LA Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About Missing Coachella

April 18, 2015August 18, 2015 Britney Shakespears

With second weekend of drug-induced, Etsy-sponsored Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival beginning its second round in Indio, CA this

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Articles Uncategorized 

Contents of Sexton’s Private Zoo Revealed

April 11, 2015August 18, 2015 Britney Shakespears

  With his reign of terror and hugs coming to its close, WSL has tried to get to know Sexton

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Uncategorized 

In News: Floormate Is Pretty Loud At Mixing Beats

November 21, 2014November 18, 2014 Britney Shakespears

The unfortunate residents of Weinstein’s fifth floor (west) have finally spoken up about the noise levels emanating from 508, home

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Academics 

Freshman Film/TV Student Opens Up About Being The Next James Cameron, Future Plans

November 17, 2014November 14, 2014 Britney Shakespears

This week, Tisch Freshman Kenneth Perkins revealed to classmates that he is the “next James Cameron.” Met with shock, awe,

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Uncategorized 

BREAKING: Leaked Email Details New Stern Curve Policy

November 13, 2014November 10, 2014 Britney Shakespears

To: Stern Faculty The Board has recently discussed and revised the grading policy for Stern students in order to reflect

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Lifestyle 

RA Calls Ambulance After Freshman Hides Two Beer Bottles In Room, Passes Out From Anxiety

November 3, 2014October 29, 2014 Britney Shakespears

After what proved to be “one of the craziest nights” of his life, Freshman Liam Thorley ended up being revived

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Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Headlines 

Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now

November 10, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Headlines 

Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever

October 26, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Headlines Stern 

Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year

October 23, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Headlines 

Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life

October 15, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Headlines 

Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed

October 4, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Headlines 

Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week

October 3, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines 

Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"

September 13, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines Other 

Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty

December 10, 2015 Dick Tarpis Comments Off on Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty
Headlines Other 

Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active
Headlines Other 

Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life
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