Senior From LA Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About Missing Coachella

With second weekend of drug-induced, Etsy-sponsored Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival beginning its second round in Indio, CA this weekend, Senior Brett Nelson, “just can’t believe” he’s missing it again.

Nelson, blames his parents for his lack of “festival pussy” this year because he claims they refused to pay for his roundtrip flight to California, VIP festival pass, hotel room, shuttle pass, and copious amounts of Molly. Of course, Nelson was sure to share his concern throughout his classes last week, voicing his sorrows to many of his peers.

During the brief interview, Nelson pulled out his phone to show us pictures of his previous Coachella experiences, many of which included throwing up. In fact, all but one had something to do with throwing up.

Nelson hopes that next year he can jam out to Skrillex while sweating a shit ton “and rubbing up on some high school girls.” That’s where we ended the interview by asking if he was previously in Pike. The answer? Yes.