BREAKING: Leaked Email Details New Stern Curve Policy

To: Stern Faculty

The Board has recently discussed and revised the grading policy for Stern students in order to reflect the caliber of the school to a greater degree. Please review the following.

A+

An A+ grade should be awarded to work that is truly exemplary and free of error, or at least rudimentary and with only 2-5 spelling mistakes. Instances of an A+ student usually consist of showing up to 40% of lectures and giving money to you in a non-bribey-feeling way.

A

An A should be given to a student on the basis of quality work and performance, who illustrate understanding of all coursework and assignments. *Think of an A as Halloween candy, you can give it to anyone who seems like they want it and you should give it to them.

A-

The mark of an A- is granted to students with excellent work that may have a few outstanding mistakes like blatant plagiarism or simply not doing the assignment. (Remember, these could just be oversights so an A should still be considered.)

B+

A B+ should be imparted to students who are on the cusp of an A- but have misgivings, such as late work or not attending Stern at all.

B, B-, C+, C, C-, D+, D, D-

Please disregard any of these grades, we have removed them completely from our system.

F

A failing grade should only be given to students who have used, might have used, or have wanted to use Comic Sans in any of their work regardless of its content.

Keep up the good work!

XOXO

Dean Henry n the boyzz