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Author: Micky Fine

Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Announces New NYU Space Program

September 26, 2016September 26, 2016 Micky Fine

Keeping with his promise to the NYU community to continue bringing the school into the world of tomorrow, Andrew Hamilton

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Uncategorized 

Washington Square Park Magician Can’t Even Get Out of Bed Without a Few Applause Breaks

September 13, 2016 Micky Fine

“Wonder Venders”, “Reality Shifters”, “Perverts In Top Hats.” Many names have been given to the magicians of Washington Square Park,

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u wr nvr ivy lge material u fuckn twat
Academics Articles 

NYU Welcomes Record Number of Ivy League Rejects

September 6, 2016September 6, 2016 Micky Fine

As NYU opens its purple arms once again to city, it also welcomes in the class of 2020, a record

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Articles On Campus 

BREAKING: Teacher’s Pet Steals Teacher’s Pet

May 2, 2016May 2, 2016 Micky Fine

Kevin Fuck was just your normal 4.0 GPA having Stern student, until he wasn’t. Driven by his inability to accept

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Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU Demands Cockroaches Start Paying Rent

April 29, 2016April 29, 2016 Micky Fine

Officially listing them as “dormitory residents,” NYU officials have declared that the large population of dorm-dwelling cockroaches must begin paying rent in the

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Academics Articles CAS 

Amazing: Meet the Student Who Wrote “Racism Is Bad” 335 Times For His Cultures & Context Essay

April 21, 2016April 20, 2016 Micky Fine

You can never tell where the next great hero will come from, but today, it comes from NYU’s Cultures and

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Articles On Campus 

Freshman Hired to “The Tab” Writing Staff After Completing Writing The Essay and One Half of a Sociology Class

April 5, 2016April 5, 2016 Micky Fine

Celebration is in order as NYU freshman Kelly Carplin has recently risen through the ranks to become a part of

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Business woman walking outside in city. office worker in downtown.
Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

Senior Spotted Carrying Umbrella Even Though It’s Lovely Out Today

March 22, 2016March 22, 2016 Micky Fine

With the forecast clear and the radar spotless, ongoers looked in confusion today as senior Beth Gerbles strolled down Washington

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Administration Articles Lifestyle On Campus 

NYU Weed Smokers Petition to Remove Undercover Cops From Their Classes

March 1, 2016March 1, 2016 Micky Fine

Progressive Reform is sweeping NYU as the unified marijuana users of the school petition for the removal of all the

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friends_on_street
Articles On Campus 

BREAKING: Friends See Each Other On Street

February 15, 2016February 15, 2016 Micky Fine

Reports are coming in that while power walking to recitation, sophomore Mary Volmo spotted her friend and confidant Hannah Oslo

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Articles On Campus 

RA-On-Duty Haunted by Unstoppable Sound of Undergraduates’ Valentine’s Day Orgasms

February 14, 2016February 13, 2016 Micky Fine

Powerless, alone, and afraid, Palladium dorm RA Charles Jenkins finds himself haunted by the distant echoes of his floor residents’

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hamiltons_funny_little_hat
Administration Articles 

Andrew Hamilton Exceeds Students’ First Week Expectations Just By Showing Up

January 29, 2016January 29, 2016 Micky Fine

A little less than a week into his run as NYU president, Andrew Hamilton has already surpassed many students’ expectations

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white_film_student
Uncategorized 

White Film Student Worried He May Win An Oscar This Year

January 26, 2016January 26, 2016 Micky Fine

Local Tisch Film and TV student and pale skinned descendant of Tanner and Miriam Lockhaven, Keith Lockhaven has expressed concern

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Headlines 

Attempted Joke In Essay Title Prepares Professor For C+ Paper At Best

December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines Other 

Depressed Sophomore Begins Smoking Cigarettes As Excuse To Stand Outside Alone In The Cold

December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Game Of “Never Have I Ever” Quickly Becomes Passive Game Of Asking Which Friend Has Done Anal

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Junior Forgets To Change Company Name On Master Cover Letter, Sends Out 20 Internship Applications Addressed To “Domino’s Pizza”

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Professor Forgets Every Student’s Name Over Thanksgiving Break

December 7, 2015December 7, 2015 Micky Fine
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HarinamSankirtanwithHHRadhanathSwamiandDhanurdharaSwamiatUnionSquare08
Articles Lifestyle 

Sophomore Purchases Hare Krishna From Union Square Holiday Market for Family Back Home

December 3, 2015December 3, 2015 Micky Fine

Seeking to give her family a taste of authentic New York, sophomore Melissa Anathy turned to the Union Square holiday

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Headlines Other 

Annoying Welcome Week Friend Adamant About Knowing What Classes You’re Taking Next Semester

November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 Micky Fine
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student-professor1
Academics Articles 

Freshman With Poor Midterm Grades Promises To Talk To Teacher Once After Class, Then Never Again

November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 Micky Fine

After Mike Polemen was shocked to receive a C on his midterm evaluation, he knew it was time to buckle

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Headlines Other 

History Professor Asked to Repeat Himself

November 9, 2015November 9, 2015 Micky Fine
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free_labor
Articles Lifestyle Opinion 

Junior Considers Binge Drinking Unpaid Internship

November 1, 2015October 29, 2015 Micky Fine

Registration season is in full swing, and along with ANTHRO-262 and IDSEM-473, Junior Robbie Marciano is hoping to register his

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Headlines 

Junior Already Knows Long-Term Girlfriend Is Going To Make A Great Ex­-Wife Someday

October 19, 2015October 19, 2015 Micky Fine
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Articles 

NYU Begins Sending Late Student Worker Checks By Massive Fleet Of Paper Airplanes Over Washington Square Park

October 16, 2015October 16, 2015 Micky Fine

Shrouded by a creeping, forlorn darkness sweeping over Washington Square Park, student workers witnessed the biannual arrival of their long awaited

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Articles 

RA Catches Freshmen Experimenting With Responsibility

October 15, 2015October 14, 2015 Micky Fine

Late last night Coral RA Stephanie Steponherknee reporting hearing unfamiliar sounds coming from dorm 304, and upon investigation found the residents to

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Headlines 

Student’s Visiting Parents Give Friends Deep Insight Into Student’s Personal Flaws

October 13, 2015October 13, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Junior Plans On Using Fall Break To Reconnect With Black Hole Of Loneliness

October 13, 2015October 13, 2015 Micky Fine
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Articles 

Pre Med Student Now Proficient Enough to Resuscitate Anything Except Own GPA

October 6, 2015October 6, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Tisch Student Pushes Emergency Button On Elevator to Get Someone To Ask What’s Wrong

October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Local Senior Would Feel Much Better If Peers Stopped Succeeding

October 4, 2015September 28, 2015 Micky Fine
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trump-kiss
Headlines 

Stern Junior Kisses Secret Picture Of Donald Trump In His Locker Before Class

September 29, 2015September 29, 2015 Micky Fine
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Press Releases 

A Comprehensive Guide to Hazing in NYU’s Greek Life

September 29, 2015 Micky Fine
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Closeup portrait skeptical young man, annoyed student in white shirt, looking with disbelief, camera gesture isolated grey wall background. Negative human emotion facial expression attitude perception
Headlines 

Student Coming In Off The Class Waitlist Just Gonna Fucking Sit There And Act Like They Belong Here

September 20, 2015September 20, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Kimmel Begins Selling Snacks To People Waiting In Line At Dining Hall

September 16, 2015September 14, 2015 Micky Fine
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Articles 

Freshman Cut From Improv Team Auditions Preparing To Give Some Terrible Suggestions At Their Next Show

September 15, 2015September 14, 2015 Micky Fine

After a lukewarm reception to his “Old Man with Funny Voice (Possibly Black)” character at auditions for NYU’s improv teams,

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Articles 

NYU Feminist Society: “NYU Tuition Rates Are Beautiful, No Matter What Their Size”

September 11, 2015September 11, 2015 Micky Fine

In a recent protest of unrealistic beauty standards, NYU feminists spearheaded a recent campaign targeted at defending what many students

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Articles 

NYU Prof. Responds to Complaints: “I Left The Cursor In The Middle Of The Video On Purpose, And I’ll Fucking Do It Again”

September 8, 2015September 8, 2015 Micky Fine

Listen here you undergraduate millennial shit sack, I’m not a fucking idiot. You don’t get a 4.6 and a chili

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Headlines 

Tisch Freshman Eager To Begin Unspoken 4 Year Pissing Contest With Classmates

September 2, 2015September 3, 2015 Micky Fine
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Press Releases 

NYU Releases New Password Requirements Yet Again

September 1, 2015September 2, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Freshman Finds The Best Pizza Place In All Of New York Next To Their Dorm

August 31, 2015August 31, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

Parents Hope Broken Home Has Prepared Freshman For The Big City

August 31, 2015August 31, 2015 Micky Fine
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NYU-Roommate-Agreement
Press Releases 

New NYU Roommate Contract

August 30, 2015August 31, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

NYU Admits 23% Of 2015 Acceptance Letters Were Mistakes, Will Begin Making Cuts During Welcome Week

August 29, 2015August 30, 2015 Micky Fine
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Headlines 

RA Licks Lips in Arousal at Mere Anticipation of Asking Students Ice Breaker Questions

August 27, 2015August 27, 2015 Micky Fine
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Academics Articles 

Graduating Senior Decides To Take A Gap Decade To Figure Things Out

May 13, 2015August 18, 2015 Micky Fine graduation, NYU, nyu graduation

“It’s like, I don’t know man, I don’t want to start my life until I’ve lived, ya know?” comments recent NYU

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Articles Uncategorized 

Fucking Nerd Sighs When Teacher Announces That This Is Last Class Meeting

May 7, 2015May 10, 2016 Micky Fine

  Freshman Barry Teedler reportedly was heard audibly releasing breath from his mouth as his professor announced that this would be the

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Articles Uncategorized 

New Study Shows 95% Of NYU Students Are Only Here To Dodge The Draft

May 4, 2015August 18, 2015 Micky Fine

NYU has always drawn students due to its academics, location, and unparalleled opportunities, but new data shows that one thing

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Academics Articles 

WOW! Inventive Tisch Student Uses Kickstarter To Fund Pipe Dreams

April 24, 2015August 18, 2015 Micky Fine

Bryce McAlister, a junior in the Kanbar Institute of Film and Television, just reached his goal of $10,000 to fund something

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Academics Articles 

Dance Majors Now Required To Take Classes Like No One Is Watching, and Other New Rules of Spring Registration

April 7, 2015August 18, 2015 Micky Fine

The birds are chirping, the snow is gone, you’re beginning to sweat more than usual, and you know what that means.

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Lifestyle 

BREAKING: Girl Who Went On Spring Break To Mexico Doesn’t Tell You All About It

March 24, 2015March 23, 2015 Micky Fine

Shocking reports are coming in that junior Becky Baker, Vice Chair of Delta Phi Epsilon and Pinterest advocate, is continuing

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Uncategorized 

Arson Charges Dropped Against Tisch Junior After Discovering That It Was Just His Mixtape

February 17, 2015February 17, 2015 Micky Fine

Tragedy struck the residents of Alumni Hall last week, as the entire 6th floor had to be evacuated due to

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Uncategorized 

Reports Show Passive Aggressive Notes Aren’t From Roommate, But Timid Ghost

February 2, 2015February 2, 2015 Micky Fine

Throughout the academic year, Freshman Sean Goldman had simply assumed the non-confrontational notes left around the dorm to be from

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Uncategorized 

WSL Guide To Registration, Albert, and The New Semester

November 29, 2014November 24, 2014 Micky Fine

  Now that most of the dust has cleared and the frustrated emails sent, you may be wondering how to

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Uncategorized 

Homeless Man With Heart Of Gold Plans To Sell It For Food And Shelter

November 20, 2014November 18, 2014 Micky Fine

Reports are flooding in that recent YouTube sensation and local homeless man Ricky Rothman is in negotiation to sell his

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Lifestyle 

Study Finds Everyone You Know Having Sex With Each Other Except You

November 18, 2014November 14, 2014 Micky Fine

It’s about that time of year, when all love triangles, squares, and other romantic geometric shapes have taken form. However,

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Uncategorized 

Everyone In Campus Dining Hall Sees You Eating Alone

November 10, 2014November 10, 2014 Micky Fine

“They just kind of sit there, eating pizza, slowly dying alone,” reports Jerald Hanner, Third North chef and generally nice

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Lifestyle Opinion 

Sophomore Feels Last Drop Of Empathy Leave Her Body, Reporting Homeless Man’s Sign Was “Okay At Best”

November 8, 2014November 6, 2014 Micky Fine

“Need food. Please Help” was reportedly the sign that caused Junior Amy Lohoral to finally feel devoid of compassion for

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Academics 

Whistleblower exposes NYU’s Gallatin School As Fake College

November 7, 2014November 6, 2014 Micky Fine

“Honestly, I’m just surprised I’m the one who had to do this,” comments Lars Formil, an NYU administrative assistant who

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Academics Lifestyle 

Art Student Worries There Isn’t Enough Pain In Their Life To Be A True Artist

November 6, 2014November 6, 2014 Micky Fine

“You guys don’t understand, you’ll never understand,” comments local junior Jessica Hilmar, music major and Tumblr blogger. “I never had

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Uncategorized 

Local Student Almost Joins Union Square Freestyle Battle

November 1, 2014October 28, 2014 Micky Fine

“I was right there. I mean, I totally could have done it. I just didn’t,” comments 20 year old English

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Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Headlines 

Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now

November 10, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Headlines 

Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever

October 26, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Headlines Stern 

Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year

October 23, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Headlines 

Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life

October 15, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Headlines 

Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed

October 4, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Headlines 

Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week

October 3, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines 

Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"

September 13, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines Other 

Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty

December 10, 2015 Dick Tarpis Comments Off on Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty
Headlines Other 

Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active
Headlines Other 

Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life
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