Father Returning For MBA Attempts To Have Cookout During Lecture

An economics lecture in Stern was disrupted early Thursday morning by a student who began hosting a patio cookout. Peter Barclay, an adult MBA student and father of two, is reported to have entered the room a few minutes after class had started, blaming his tardiness on an alarm clock that he hadn’t gotten around to fixing yet. It was at this point that Barclay proceeded to remove a Foreman grill, two pounds of ground beef, a bag of hamburger buns, and three bottles of Andrea’s Steak Sauce from the oversized leather shoulder bag that he got during a J.C. Penney’s online sale.

Carl McReatty, the professor of the lecture, first attempted to discourage Barclay’s efforts by passive aggressively stating, “I’m teaching.” Barclay immediately fired back, saying “Hi, Teaching, I’m Dad!” with the joy of a thousand suns. McReatty then left the room to find campus security while Barclay proceeded to ask other students how they would like their burgers cooked before ultimately slightly overcooking all burgers in question, explaining, “You don’t want to move the meat around too much; that’s how you lose the juices.”

When campus security arrived on the scene, Barclay reportedly began posing as a substitute professor by taking over the economics lecture, demonstrating the concept of a “Dad Tax” by taking a fry from every student in the front row of the class. Campus security realized that Barclay was not a substitute and escorted him out of Stern after asking him directly if he was a professor and receiving the response, “Professor? I barely KNOW her!”