Stern Senior Completes Valentine’s Day Date Bracket to Streamline Disappointment

With less than 24 hours to spare before the big day, senior Blake Miller once again successfully completed his traditional date bracket. This is the fourth year in a row that Miller, a sports business major, created the bracket, which is meant to document the possible options that Miller will potentially take out on Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day and ranking girls has been serious business to Miller ever since he got his first pube at the age of seventeen; however, he insists that the brackets progressively get harder to create every year. Said Miller, “It’s really hard to figure out who will be nice to me every other day of the year too before it’s too late.”

We wish Miller the best on his search for true respect, romance, and love.