NYU Health Center Security Guard Gets Little Thrill Every Time Student Doesn’t Have ID

Sources confirmed Tuesday that every time an NYU student doesn’t have their ID on them before an appointment, the security guard at the Student Health Center gets a little thrill.

“Denying a student’s entry to a student health appointment, even and especially when they have email confirmation, is akin to the feeling a child has when waking up on Christmas morning,” security guard Jim Staples explained with a manic gleam in his eye. “No one gets past me.”

Tisch sophomore Stacey Herron has a different opinion: “He stopped me for 20 minutes because my finger was apparently covering my picture on my ID,” she said while sniffling, coughing, and in clear need of antibiotics. “I missed my doctor’s appointment and had to reschedule it for next week. I could barely get out of bed this morning.”

Staples hopes to inspire other NYU security guards throughout campus to be just as annoyingly ruthless.