Students Who Haven’t Done Dishes in Two Weeks Shocked and Outraged at Appearance of Cockroach

When Mike Williamson shuffled to the bathroom at 2AM last night through various food wrappers, sticky spots, and beer cans, he was both disgusted and enraged to find a cockroach in the midst of his dump of a room.

“How much money do I pay to live in dorms here? And they can’t keep roaches out? Unbelievable,” he said while blowing his nose into a tissue and throwing it over his shoulder. “I just can’t understand what’s so hard. Just hire a god damn exterminator, it’s 2016.”

After Mike went downstairs to ask his dorm’s security guard to kill the roach, a chorus of laughter was heard throughout Palladium.