“Two Truths And A Lie” Icebreaker Solves Cold Case Of Professor’s Dead Wife
On the first day of “Introduction To Introductions,” Professor Stephen Gilroy was shocked when a simple icebreaking game of Two
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Author: Rachel Slur
Tips For Having An Affair With A Married Professor
Older, married men are hotter, smarter and more financially secure than others. It’s just plain science. Next time you’re ready
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John Sexton Spotted Begging New Students For Hugs
NYU President Emeritus John Sexton was spotted crouched in the bushes of Washington Square Park late Tuesday evening according to
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Last Class Bagels Don’t Make Up For Poorly Taught Seminar
In an effort to mitigate a disastrous semester, Gallatin Professor Phil Benneson decided to treat his Defense Against the Dark
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I’m The Dog You Stopped To Pet And I Fucking Hate You
I get it. You once had a dog. You don’t right now. You’re far away from your home and family,
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Freshman’s Lanyard Possessed and Can Never Be Taken Off
After a semester and a half of wearing his lanyard twenty-four hours a day, freshman Ray Stanz decided the time
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Fellow Students Unable to Break It to Professor That Kyle Dropped the Class
After six long weeks, students of The Literature of Rebellion in Early Modern Europe didn’t have the heart to tell their professor
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Studio Art Major Accidentally Shows Up to Class Sober
It was a typical Thursday morning for junior Studio Art major John Cavanaugh. He woke up, showered, ate, and had just made it
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Dance Major Injures Foot, Forcing Teacher to Put Her Out to Pasture
It was a gloomy day in Tisch as dance major Glenda Orbison ’17 broke her ankle during a botched plié,
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Hamster Powering Albert Goes On Strike
It’s a stressful time of year for all members of the NYU community as registration approaches, but especially for the
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Older Grad Student In Lecture Won’t Stop Asking Pointless Questions
It was a tense morning in “The Logic Of Hunger” when much older graduate student Herbert Laughlin just would not stop
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Visual Arts Major Accidentally Shows Up To Class Sober
It was a typical Wednesday morning for Junior John Cavanaugh. He had woken up, showered, eaten and just made it to
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TA Almost Certain Which Students Are Jacking Off To Her
On Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Texts and Ideas Class “Looking Behind Us To See Ahead,” TA Callie Lockhart is on
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Professor Mistakes Student’s Suicide Note For Homework, Gives It C –
At 3:45 PM today, Sophomore Camden Calloway was penning out a potential draft of his suicide note. He accidentally left
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Gallatin Renames Finals Week “Scholastic Reflection Period” to Make the Rest of Us Hate Them More
Fearing that the student body’s abiding hatred for Gallatin slowly waning, the administration announced this week that they’re taking measures
Read moreNYU Makes Oscar Predictions, Shows Startling Trends by School
This Sunday, the 87th Academy Awards will award the best and brightest in achievement in film this year. Everyone
Read moreNYU Work Study to Start Paying in “Fun Money”
As the new semester begins, NYU’s Financial Council, a diverse and eclectic group of old white men, have devised a
Read moreBREAKING NEWS: NYU’s Presidential Shortlist Leaked!
As many of you know, our current All-Father John Sexton will soon be stepping down as NYU’s President and the
Read moreJohn Sexton to Open “Human Hunting Sex Compound” On a Comet
NYU President John Sexton has announced his next big plans for expanding the NYU Campus. “I’ve decided to forgo any
Read moreBarney Building Quarantined Due to Cthulu Like Smoke Monster
As of last week, the Barney building of Steinhardt has been quarantined for “Levels of Tobacco Smoke Beyond the Human
Read morePeers Skeptical That Comparative Literature Major Actually Finished “Infinite Jest”
After two long, long months of skipping poetry slams and going to see what’s playing at IFC, Comparative Literature Major
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