Female Finance Senior Breaks Glass Ceiling, Falls Through Gould Plaza Floor

Sources are reporting that Stern senior Emily Hopkins crashed into a Principles of Microeconomics class when she fell through the glass floor of Gould Plaza in front of Stern late Tuesday afternoon.

Fed up with long-term internships overlooking her potential, Hopkins explained that, “initially it was an act of rebellion against having repeatedly tried and failed to break the glass ceiling,” as she picked shards out of her arms and dusted off her shoulders. “But yeah, crashing through it was incredibly painful. In hindsight, I may stick to breaking through metaphorical barriers from now on.”

Stern security guard Patrick Ross did not attempt to stop the accident. “We see this all the time. Women pounding on it, stomping on it, beating it with their fists — never thought it’d happen,” he stated. “And then all of a sudden she’s at bottom, sprawled out on the floor of the Lower Concourse.”

Hopkins hopes if nothing else, her injuries will finally make her company notice her.