Liberal Studies Freshman Decides God Exists And Islam Is The Choice For Her
NEW YORK, NY—After over 2 months of taking Liberal Studies classes “Cultural Foundations I” and “Social Foundations I”, freshman Melissa Truman recanted her previous high school atheist rants and decided God exists since Allah is the God of all Gods.
“Its just- atheism is so high school, you know?” said Melissa while holding a copy of the Koran purchased for class. “I mean, does anyone even realize that all the great philosophers, writers and scientists believed in God? They can’t all be wrong, can they?”
After being forced to read books such as Gilgamesh, Confucius’ Analects, the Bhagavad Gita, The Bible, and the Koran, Melissa, with the help of two professors and multiple power points, noted one common thread: God(s). “Allahu Akbar!” exclaimed Melissa, who was “truly impacted” after some seriously heated class discussions.
“My eyes were opened. Other cultures- they are so much more complex than I ever thought. I mean, who would’ve thought those brown people who answer my computer tech-advice calls actually believe in something that I can relate to? But guess what, we are all human, these ideas connect us all, and Allah is the Eternal and Absolute!”
Melissa’s last three assignments have been reading the Koran, and a month ago she proclaimed that Gilgamesh’s network of Gods was the key to all truth.
Recent polling shows that 88 percent of LS Freshman currently agrees with Melissa, where the other 12 percent have not done the reading since the classes moved on from “The Bible.”
Melissa states she probably won’t change her mind again, but noted that the cover to Martin Luther’s book is really cool.
