NYU President John Sexton announced Wednesday that the commencement speaker for the upcoming class of 2015 graduation is to be a pile of money. In a statement from the President’s office, Sexton writes, “At the heart of any great university is its money. This idea has truly been the guiding light for the duration of my tenure as your president. All of us here at the university believe that this sentiment is reflected in the choice for NYU’s next commencement speaker.” His statement went on to clear up any possible misconceptions stating, “Make no mistake. This is a big pile of money.”
The upcoming speaker has generated a great deal of interest on campus, charging a full 20% of its total value to speak. Additionally, “The Pile”, as it has come to be called, has sparked excitement among students and professors alike. Stern professor Michael Samson remarked, “I always tell my students that money talks. Now they have a chance to listen.” Perhaps the most common sentiment among students is summed up in the words of Frank Watley, a Sophmore in CAS: “This university takes so much money from me. The least they could do is let me look at it.” And look at it we shall.