An Editorial Message of Goodwill This Finals Season, From Washington Square Local To You

I’ve wanted to get this off of my chest for a while, but I’ve never been able to contain my fury long enough to put it into words. NYU has a serious issue that needs to be dealt with immediately before it ruins the school more than John Sexton has. This is what I have to say:

To people who print 100 page stacks of paper at Bobst: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE. Jesus Christ, are you printing an entire textbook? There’s a line of fifteen people behind you that will now be late turning in a paper because you deemed it necessary to have a physical copy of War and Peace. I don’t give a shit that you needed it for class, you’re a goddamn moron for taking a class that assigns readings that big. Also, you definitely used the rest of the paper in the printer, rendering it inoperable until someone who knows that they’re doing comes along to fix it. I’m glad you were able to print Ulysses, but I hope you get fingered by Edward Scissorhands. Next time, jump to the back if its crowded if you’re printing the King James Bible.

Thank you for your attention to this issue.