BREAKING: Chance the Rapper Tragically Found Dead After Drowning In NYU Pussy

It comes with a heavy heart that we announce the death of a beloved cultural icon, Chance the Rapper, who was found dead early this morning. The NYPD is unable to confirm the cause of death at this time, but they suspect that he died due to drowning in a sea of NYU pussy. Various paraphernalia was found at the scene that led to suspicion of hipster poon as the culprit, including a bedazzled vape, a plastic choker, and a false sense of individuality.

“It just really goes to show, you know, we all think we’re immortal, but we could drown in pussy any day,” said fellow MC and NYU alum Childish Gambino. “I’ve visited NYU and put myself in some unsafe situations where, yeah, I could have easily drowned in the massive amount of poontang being thrown at me, and I’m just lucky to be alive. Rest in Peace, Chance.”

The police have not announced any suspects, but they’re looking for girls with septum piercings, polaroids, blue hair, or tattoos quoting literature as the main providers of said pussy. “At least he died the way he lived,” said bandmate Donny Trumpet. “Absolutely savaging hipster girls from the suburbs.”