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Articles Uncategorized 

Robert De Niro Spends Entire Tisch Salute Speech Trying To Convince Audience That “Meet The Fockers” Was Critically Underappreciated

May 14, 2015August 19, 2015 Dan Quayle de niro, new york university, NYU, Tisch

Although it seemed like a fun opening joke at first, after thirty-five minutes it became very apparent that Robert De

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Articles Lifestyle 

New Study Shows All Fraternity Brothers Have Red, Sweaty Faces

April 28, 2015August 18, 2015 Boy Hole new york university, NYU, nyu fraternity, nyu greek life

A groundbreaking new study done by the NYU Biology department has reached a startling conclusion: 100% of fraternity members have

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Academics Articles 

Tisch Senior Excited For $200,000 Degree Representing Four Years Of Playing Pretend

April 27, 2015August 18, 2015 Dan Quayle new york university, nyu commencement, nyu graduation, Tisch

Senior Brian McAdams came to New York University for world class faculty and and the outstanding drama program, and now

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Articles Lifestyle 

John Sexton Buys Out “Free Hugs” Guy, Officially Monopolizes Hug Market

April 27, 2015August 18, 2015 F. Twat Fitzgerald free hugs guy, new york university, NYU, union square

After years of battling over the hug market, NYU President John Sexton finally bought out his main competition, “Free Hugs”

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Articles Lifestyle 

Senior Just Now Realizes “NYU Minute” Newsletter is Play On Phrase “New York Minute”

April 27, 2015August 18, 2015 Dick Tarpis new york university, NYU

At 2:37 PM today, upon seeing his weekly email about things he would never, ever attend, Senior Bradley Mischens had

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Uncategorized 

BREAKING: Chance the Rapper Tragically Found Dead After Drowning In NYU Pussy

February 25, 2015February 25, 2015 Dan Quayle chance the rapper, chance the rapper dead, chance the rapper nyu, new york university, NYU, NYU Local, nyu news, washington square news

It comes with a heavy heart that we announce the death of a beloved cultural icon, Chance the Rapper, who

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Academics Lifestyle 

Cleveland Resident Considers Himself New Yorker After Three-Week Long NYU Summer Program

June 30, 2014July 3, 2014 J. Pasta Midwest, new york university, NYU

CLEVELAND, OH –- Cleveland native Jerry McHugh, 19, has returned from a three-week summer program at NYU and is now such

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Academics Lifestyle 

BREAKING: Hayden Hall Will Undergo Renovations to become John Sexton’s Personal Gold Vault, à la Scrooge McDuck

April 7, 2014April 7, 2014 Dan Quayle Hayden, john sexton, new york university, NYU

  Citing his insatiable need to have more money than he could reasonably use and his extreme joy at seeing

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Lifestyle Opinion 

Washington Square News’ April Fools’ Issue Includes Uncomfortable Amount of Racial Humor

April 1, 2014March 30, 2015 Dan Quayle april fool's, john sexton, new york university, NYU, racial

Washington Square News’ annual April Fools’ publication has found the paper in hot water after extreme racial humor that was

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Lifestyle Opinion 

Sophomore Devastated When Out of Town Friend Effortlessly Sleeps With Girl of His Dreams

March 11, 2014 Special Agent Dale Cooper's MILF friend, girls, new york university, NYU, sex

  All went awry this weekend for Sophomore Amir Hill, (CAS), when his best friend from back home, Tom Williams,

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Lifestyle 

NYU Student Ends Up On Phone With President Barack Obama After Long String of Transfers

March 9, 2014March 9, 2014 Special Agent Dale Cooper's MILF housing, new york university, NYU, obama

After a series of “please hold”s and “let me transfer you to this number”s, sophomore Michael Linden (Tisch) ended up

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Lifestyle 

Spring 2014 Skirball Schedule Includes Nothing You’re Interested In Seeing

March 8, 2014March 8, 2014 Prince Blaze Sternstein college, monks, new york university, NYU, skirball

NYU today released the Spring 2014 performances schedule for the Jack H. Skirball Center for the Performing Arts and students

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Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Headlines 

Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now

November 10, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Recently Divorced Advisor Encouraging Students To Just Give Up Now
Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Headlines 

Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever

October 26, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Graduating Senior Wondering How To Inform Parents She’s Moving Back Home Forever
Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Headlines Stern 

Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year

October 23, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Stern Student Going As “Financial Success” For Halloween This Year
Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Headlines 

Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life

October 15, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Amazing At Life™, Terrible At Life
Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Headlines 

Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed

October 4, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Sophomore Can’t Sit In Washington Square Park Without Fear of Being Interviewed
Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Headlines 

Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week

October 3, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Senior Running Late For Class Just Skips Whole Week
Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines 

Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"

September 13, 2016 Air Bud Comments Off on Freshman Takes Picture In Front of WSP Arch With Caption “My City <3"
Headlines Other 

Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty

December 10, 2015 Dick Tarpis Comments Off on Second Semester Senior With Headphones In Unaware That His Life Is About To Get Really Shitty
Headlines Other 

Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Group Message From Past Class Unnecessarily Still Active
Headlines Other 

Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life

December 10, 2015 Air Bud Comments Off on Junior Calls In Sick To Whole Life
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