Freshman Still On The Lookout For Perfect Poster Of John Belushi Drinking
While mid-October is generally known as the time of year in which college students finally settle into their dorm for the long haul, Stern freshman Dylan Taper is still on the lookout for the perfect poster of John Belushi drinking to tie the whole room together.
Taking a break from shopping for tie clips on Jack Threads, Taper explained, “The aesthetic of my room is just lacking right now; when I take a girl back here for sex stuff, how is she going to understand without the use of verbal communication that I’m just a casual college dude who’s good at the sex?”
This sentiment is one that is shared by his roommate Marco Feinman, who confirmed that while the “Goodfellas” poster is pretty tight, and the license plate that says “vodking” is fairly sick nasty, the room is lacking the perfect image to make eye contact with while masturbating furiously to the sounds of your next door neighbor getting laid by the last person eating dinner in Upstein.
The two have now extended their search beyond small dive stores in Alphabet City to include the walls of your dorm if you get too drunk to notice it missing and donations from Mom and Craig.