Pike Mistakenly Protests NYU’s New Ban On Vaping

After a ban on vaping inside of NYU facilities was announced, Pike fraternity members banded together in a rally early Friday morning to protest the decision.

Said junior and Pike brother Rick Phillips at the protest, “I can’t believe they’re trying to ban that. Our fraternity has been built around the allowance of the practice since its inception.” Other Pike members agreed, arguing that they were only trying to express themselves, and that since they were initially told yes, it was okay to keep going.

“I mean, it’s like this: if your mom says that you can have a cookie, and you put your hand in the jar to get one, and then she changes her mind and says that you can’t have a cookie just because she’s tired, you should still be allowed to take whatever cookies you already touched,” said senior Tommy D’Amico as he dunked a Moon Pie into a mug of Blue Moon.

Later the same day, brother Thomas Fialkowski took the time to reread NYU’s decree and informed the rest of the fraternity that they had misread it; the protest was immediately cancelled.

UPDATE: the Pike fraternity would like to make their intentions abundantly clear and stress that they fully support the ban on vaping, stating that they “fight for the right for everyone to feel safe in the community and be able to breathe without concern”. They will be throwing a party/fundraiser next Friday in celebration of this; entrance is $5 for men and finishing off the rest of this Vicodin for women.